How Much, You Ask, I Love You
How much, you ask, I love you,
Inside my chest, no longer, there is anything I can show,
The heart is no longer there,
It follows you, doesn’t matter where you go.
Where are we, just two weeks, now brought by this magic boat?
Beautiful landscapes never seen, yet somewhere we used to know,
A place not plotted on any map,
It must be the world, the homeland of mine and your soul.
Head on your chest, hands in yours, happily my face glows,
Oxygen of life, from your mouth into mine, you gently blow,
Dwelled too long in this world,
Forgive me, my dear, a step ahead, now I have to go.
Meeting you soon in our home land, remember, it isn’t time now for you to follow,
The love of yours, this world is too small to have a place to hold,
What happiness is, don’t tell me, even Shakespeare knew,
for never had he a chance, a chance to be loved by you.
- 鲁汉,诗可否更简练一点posted on 01/15/2004
有些字可否省去?
诗不一定要语法正确,这是我们外国人写诗的长处,只用单词来表意比用句子表达感情更加强烈。
同时诗人爱得热烈,语无伦次,哪里会语法这么规正。
我喜欢语法不太规范的诗,比如cc Cummings - posted on 01/15/2004
玛雅 wrote:
> 有些字可否省去?
>
> 诗不一定要语法正确,这是我们外国人写诗的长处,只用单词来表意比用句子表达感情更加强烈。
>
> 同时诗人爱得热烈,语无伦次,哪里会语法这么规正。
>
> 我喜欢语法不太规范的诗,比如cc Cummings
说起Cummings,以前我翻过一首他的情诗,算是偶得,放这里吧。
yes is a pleasant country
yes is a pleasant country:
if's wintry
(my lovely)
let's open the year
both is the very weather
(not either)
my treasure,
when violets appear
love is a deeper season
than reason;
my sweet one
(and april's where we're)
倾心是怡人的原野:
迟疑带来风雪
(哦可爱的)
我们来展开四季的画卷
两情相悦时和风吹来
(单相思难耐)
我的钟爱,
正是紫罗兰初开
深陷在爱的季节
理智无力分别;
哦甜蜜的人
(我们身在一年中的四月)
2003. 11. 7 - Re: 鲁汉,诗可否更简练一点posted on 01/16/2004
译诗和原作相别甚远,可看为独立,更好的诗作。 - Re: 鲁汉,诗可否更简练一点posted on 01/16/2004
鲁汉 wrote:
> 译诗和原作相别甚远,可看为独立,更好的诗作。
承蒙夸奖,不敢当,不敢当。不过译诗真是再创作,我怕译诗,若译不出原诗的韵味,那真是糟蹋诗了。偶而译诗,也是意译。因此由我的译作看去,字面上常与原作相去甚远,再译回去,就绝不是原作了,故常让旁人摸不着头脑。:) - Re: 鲁汉,诗可否更简练一点posted on 01/16/2004
我也爱意译,最好出于诗人之笔。读直译,还不如去啃原著。
兰舟何不去其原作,拓你的诗意,不就是很好的诗作吗?
艺术都讲究来龙去脉,这个在音乐、图画和文学戏剧中都很普
遍。我这里不敢奢谈,以资参考。
维吉尔曾言(转意):要想模仿荷马一句诗,也得花几十年功
夫。
此处诗可以学,可以解,可知何处下功夫。 - Re: 鲁汉,诗可否更简练一点posted on 01/19/2004
hi, luhan,
it's a good poem. i loved it very much. it's so move and touches readers' hearts.
it is a great pleasure to love and to be loved. enjoy your time.
edh - Re: 鲁汉,诗可否更简练一点posted on 01/20/2004
Thanks for the generous comment.
Best wishes,
-Lu Han
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