Blossom in spring, quivering air
Wither before winter, Vincent’s despair
Who’d dream beauty passes like a dream
Buried in nightmares, pain, and scream
A simple flower stood on its own
Facing the mad world, dark and forlorn
Till its fragrance gone, colors fade
Then taken by God, a divine trade
How our birds died singing the eternal song
How our flowers perished one after one
The end of beauty begins the fight for it
All mighty nights, immense and starlit
Iris, oh Iris! A flower like you
Majestic purple, melancholic blue
2004.11.14
- Re: Iris Sonnetposted on 11/15/2004
Very good one, I have to say.
The second line, can we change 'winter' to 'late autumn' ?
It's not a classical Sonnet, but it's wonderful.
And even the title is good.
Thanks, thanks, nice done. - Re: Iris Sonnetposted on 11/15/2004
Thanks XW.
About the second line, I meant to say Iris died even before the winter comes, which makes the season chilly earlier than usual.
I am not sure if I am making sense here, my mind is not very clear these days ...
Thanks for your kind words again. - Re: Iris Sonnetposted on 11/15/2004
adagio的诗越写越古典。 - Re: Iris Sonnetposted on 11/15/2004
在一个形式重于内容,包装决定价值的时代,我决意退回古典。
给我个伊妹告之你的地址,我给你寄点东西,一并捐款。 - Re: Iris Sonnetposted on 11/15/2004
就登在这里吧,省事。
400 S. Detroit St. (309)
LA, CA 90036
15天后地址会变。
老姐把古典进行到底吧,偶走另一个极端去玩玩。等偶生了两打回来,再去另一个极端转转。
- Re: Iris Sonnetposted on 11/15/2004
- Re: Iris Sonnetposted on 11/15/2004
我不在意于古典現代﹐但說內容與形式。
比如說張女士的死﹐是值得寫詩的。我也讀了不少感慨﹐也有些詩篇
﹐情感都不錯。用英文寫(這更適合張﹐因伊用英文寫作)且把立意
放得比較高遠的﹐我覺得這篇很好。
這篇是我以為有內容﹐但形式立意都不錯的詩。
Adagio的詩藝在長進﹐這個能看得出來。
- Re: Iris Sonnetposted on 11/15/2004
你变兔子了?三天两头换窝。
这不逼着俺赶紧寄钱吗?也罢,现在接济一个总比以后帮着喂饱那两打强。嗯嗯。
玛雅 wrote:
就登在这里吧,省事。
400 S. Detroit St. (309)
LA, CA 90036
15天后地址会变。
老姐把古典进行到底吧,偶走另一个极端去玩玩。等偶生了两打回来,再去另一个极端转转。
- posted on 11/15/2004
写得好!
adagio wrote:
Blossom in spring, quivering air
Wither before winter, Vincent’s despair
Who’d dream beauty passes like a dream
Buried in nightmares, pain, and scream
A simple flower stood on its own
Facing the mad world, dark and forlorn
Till its fragrance gone, colors fade
Then taken by God, a divine trade
How our birds died singing the eternal song
How our flowers perished one after one
The end of beauty begins the fight for it
All mighty nights, immense and starlit
Iris, oh Iris! A flower like you
Majestic purple, melancholic blue
2004.11.14
- Re: Iris Sonnetposted on 11/15/2004
哎,古董先生就是厚道。你怎么变得比我还极端,连简体都拒绝了?
有个笔误,不是杨,是张。你大概想到上次我悼念杨小凯的英文诗了。哀,俺成了写悼诗专业户了。
- Re: Iris Sonnetposted on 11/16/2004
This is one of those passing moments when I wish I knew how to write a poem. - Re: Iris Sonnetposted on 11/16/2004
I would never be able to write poetry in English like this. I admire adagio’s persistent effort to memorialize those national heroine.
adagio wrote:
你大概想到上次我悼念杨小凯的英文诗了。哀,俺成了写悼诗专业户了。 - posted on 11/16/2004
adagio wrote:
哎,古董先生就是厚道。你怎么变得比我还极端,连简体都拒绝了?
有个笔误,不是杨,是张。你大概想到上次我悼念杨小凯的英文诗了。哀,俺成了写悼诗专业户了。
我贴几个繁体字,也是很随意的。可没有什么极端,更不好上纲上线
什么的。
朝迎旭日,暮送余辉,任其自然。“朝受命而夕饮冰”,我不喜欢极
端。古懂嘛,真有点过誉,不敢当,真的不敢当。
杨小凯的诗我不记得了,能否再登出。至于写悼诗专业户,倒是要注
意,能写的就写,不能写的就算了,小心伤了脑子。
- posted on 11/16/2004
Here it is -
To An Eternal Star
In a time the news broke
Amid the joyful cries of children
And the sweet air of fresh-baked cake
That you have fallen
Or have risen to a new star
Shining alone, as always
But now looking upon us from far
With your merciful eyes
How much sufferings are required
To give birth to the fierce fire
So brilliant, out of a singular mind
And it lightens a dark world of fear
I see trees of green, and peace in heaven
In my daily walk at dusk
It’s a wonderful world - when
Enlightened by all stars of the past
2004.7.10
Don't worry that I might get my mind burned by writing this kind of poems - it's actually a purification process for my mindset.
xw wrote:
杨小凯的诗我不记得了,能否再登出。至于写悼诗专业户,倒是要注
意,能写的就写,不能写的就算了,小心伤了脑子。
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