什么是幸福?
冷烛
爱尔兰作家巴克莱说:幸福的生活有三个不可缺少的因素:
一是有希望,二是有事做,三是能爱人。
我认为首先是自己必须心里有希望,有真正明确的想望,不是雾里的梦;
其次是做踏实的事,和梦连起来的最好,和梦没瓜葛的生活杂事,也要专心去做,人一生很短暂,能够专心做好一件事情足够了;
能够有爱人和容人的胸怀,这一点很重要。找到一个合适的伴侣当然是最好的,没找到也不要瞎找,匆忙给自己选择另外的路,或者期望改变什么。任何时候相信一句话:是你的逃也逃不了,不是你的求也求不来!有很多看起来很般配的男女最后怒目相向,不外乎两条,一是不懂珍惜,二是不懂
宽容!
不过我觉得还要加一条:身心和思想自由,这在30岁之前我不曾认识到,现在越来越感觉有必要提,有人说没有一定的经济基础,幸福是个空想,但是我看那些在山区生活了一被子的爷爷奶奶他们没有享受过现代文明的概念,远离汽油挥发的生活场所,他们怡然自得!所以任何时候不要强求,也不要作茧自负!
- posted on 04/06/2005
多年前曾写过一篇谈论幸福的短文,贴在此,聊博一笑。我现在对幸福的看法是:你满意自己的生活方式吗,或者说,你的生活是你自己想要的吗?如果回答是肯定的,那就是处在幸福之中;如果有再多的物质和金钱,还在向往别人的生活,那肯定是不幸福的。通常幸福的标志是,你不知道自己在幸福中,当你意识到时,它已经远离而去了。
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幸福——它的悖论与诗学
刘苇
我怀疑,在行驶中的人生这列火车上是否真的装载过幸福。通常当我们在标有“幸福”标签的包裹中翻检时,找到的不是幸福,而是不幸;有时,在中途转运时将一些以为无用的、过时的、累赘的东西扔下,以便腾出地方装载一些时髦的、漂亮的、苦心追逐到手的东西,过后往往发现扔掉的正是自己苦苦寻觅的幸福。
幸福就像是一个迷,让人费心思去猜,我们分明在别人那里看到过幸福,可一旦到自己手里马上就变味;或者,幸福就在我们身边,但我们看不见,当她远离我们而去时才蓦然发觉,可为时已晚,惟有对她的背影投去深情的一瞥,袅袅从心中升起一缕遗憾与惋惜的哀叹。
幸福就是这样——只有在她“不在场”时才会对她有所了解,产生深切的向往之情;要看幸福这张真切的脸只有通过不幸这面镜子,这是无可逃避的悖论。当你处在幸福之中时你感觉不到幸福存在,你会抬头仰望更高处,从而抛弃现有,过后便后悔不及。如同那首歌所唱的:“看见的/熄灭了/消失的/记住了”。幸福就是一朵彼岸花,一个柏拉图式的理想国。
当然,人到这世上都是为了追求幸福而来的,甚至可以说,人在这世上一切原动力和一切选择的动机就是为了趋近幸福。我并不否认在这世上是可能有幸福存在。
但是,通往幸福的道路更像是亚里士多德诗学中的“转折”:当我们充满青春的活力,清澈的目光注视着生活的远方,梦想着一片片美妙的前景,心灵飞跃地平线外的目标,当我们努力超越一道道过往的险境后,才发现那里并非如梦境中那样奇妙,有的仅仅是一些跳舞的磷火在点燃着一个虚幻的梦……维特、苔丝、安娜•卡列丽娜就是这样一步步陷入困境。人生犹如格律诗体,经过起、承、转、合之后,往往发现由追求幸福开始,最终便归入不幸。
幸福不是一份满足的感觉、一种期望的获得与意愿的达成;幸福更是一种哲学沉思中的希翼与憧憬,是人生完满的理想境界的到达。
智者歌德深切地懂得幸福的体验只在于一瞬间,并且需要一生去求索、追寻。他在诗剧《浮士德》中,让浮士德耗尽一生去追逐幸福的一瞬感觉:
“在那一瞬间,我会说‘停一停吧,你真美丽’我的尘世生涯就会永驻人世。带着对这样的高度幸福的预感,我现在享受这最高的瞬间”。
- posted on 04/06/2005
谢刘君美文,我想到了“自足长乐”,也想到了昨天看的一段话,摘录自下:
Every Woman is beautifull
A little boy asked his mother “Why are you crying?”
“Because I’m a woman,” she told him.
“I don’t understand,” he said.“All women cry for no reason,” was all his dad could say.
His mum just hugged him and said, “And you never will.”Later the little boy asked his father,“Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?”
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God; and when God got on the phone, he asked,“God, why do women cry so easily?”God said: “When I made the woman, she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world; yet, gentle enough to give comfort.I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.”“I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.”
“I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.”
“I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.”
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.Every Woman is beautifull.
CROWS CRYING AT NIGHT
Written by Li Yu
Translated by Xu Yuanchong
Springs rosy color fades from forest flowers
Too soon, too soon.
How can they bear cold morning showers
And winds at noon
The crimson rain like rouged tear
Will make me stay and drink all day
When will again red blooms appear?
Regretful life will ever last
Just as the eastward-flowing water will go past.
乌夜啼
作者:(唐)李煜
翻译:许渊冲
林花谢了春红, 太匆勿。
无奈朝来寒雨 晚来风。
胭脂泪, 留人醉, 几时重?
自是人生长恨 水长东
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