蝴蝶的故事
我是一只黑色的蝴蝶
从漫无边际的黑暗飞出
载着贫瘠的记忆
光, 蓝天,明亮 ......
向我展开,宛如梦境
我向梦境振翅飞行
温暖的黑暗诱惑着我
坠落,沉入海底
海是另一片蓝天吗?
还是天空沉郁的阴影?
这时我看见了蓝色
当我看见了你
在白云交织的光影间穿行
你是一只蓝色的蝴蝶
来自天空和蓝色的星际
飞过漫漫无涯的孤寂
长着天使翅膀的精灵啊
让我融入你的飞行吧
我本是你在大地上的投影 -
离开你我只能是虚无
而你是生命的颜色
是我失去了的久远的记忆
2005.11.13
- Re: a poemposted on 11/14/2005
这诗名叫“蝴蝶的心事”怎么样?
诗中再镶嵌几棵蝴蝶喜欢的植物,比如马缨丹(五色梅,七变花)、麒
麟菊、醉鱼草之类的仿佛更有生气。
有人写蝴蝶的诗,当然好。蝴蝶是庄子的梦,更是阳光的梦,当然她
的前身是毛毛虫。。。
adagio wrote:
蝴蝶的故事
我是一只黑色的蝴蝶
从漫无边际的黑暗飞出
载着贫瘠的记忆
光, 蓝天,明亮 。。。
向我展开,宛如梦境
我向梦境振翅飞行
- posted on 11/14/2005
no, should be 故事,not 心事. maybe the way you interpreted this poem is different from what I meant to say.
The black butterfly is from earth, and the blue one from sky.
A very limited life, the one aimed for survival, surrounded by your most intimate family, is a narrow dark space, like mother's womb, warm, secure, yet without any enlightenment. That's where the black butterfly came from, but not where it's heading to.
A personal life should be a flight into vaster space, a growth that overcomes ignorance, a life expanded and unrolled unceasingly - thus the black butterfly is turned into the blue one.
That's why we long for sky, for flight, for light, for the unknown ...
"我真想能够使你懂得,我向你建议的生活要比你想象的任何生活都要充实得
多。我真希望能够使你懂得精神的生活多么令人兴奋,经验多么丰富。它是没有止
境的。它是极端幸福的生活。只有一件事同它相似,那就是当你一个人坐着飞机飞
到天上,越飞越高,越飞越高,只有无限的空间包围着你,你沉醉在无边无际的空
间里。你是那样的欢乐,使你对世界上任何权力和荣誉都视若敝屣。"
- 毛姆 Razor's Edge 片断
- Re: a poemposted on 11/14/2005
诗歌这玩意儿,真容易使人浮想联翩,更不幸的是对号入座
仿佛让阅读者都觉得那就是诗人经历过的情绪波动,当诗人
不再如此热衷自身的经历和感情,而更加注重技巧的时候,
其实读者也可能同时失去了热情。
- Re: a poemposted on 11/14/2005
adagio wrote:
no, should be 故事,not 心事. you didn't understand this poem.
after all these explanations, I still feel it's a 心事.
That makes it more like a poem.
by the way, the blue color of the sea is partially caused by
Rayleigh scattering, partially by the reflection of blue sky...it
depends on the weather and wave situation.
Sorry I am too serious here. Like this poem!
- Re: a poemposted on 11/14/2005
What if the things we are looking for are buried deep deep in the sea?What if the sea and the sky are actually the same? What if the sea is actually a passage to the sky?
I sometimes suspect that the key to the vault of the kingdom up there is somewhere under the sea...
- Re: a poemposted on 11/14/2005
小赵 wrote:
诗歌这玩意儿,真容易使人浮想联翩,更不幸的是对号入座
仿佛让阅读者都觉得那就是诗人经历过的情绪波动,当诗人
不再如此热衷自身的经历和感情,而更加注重技巧的时候,
其实读者也可能同时失去了热情。
It depends on what kind of reader you are. - posted on 11/14/2005
Susan wrote:
What if the things we are looking for are buried deep deep in the sea?What if the sea and the sky are actually the same? What if the sea is actually a passage to the sky?
every one has his/her own interpretation of things thus has different symbols, that's why I say meaning is relevant only on individual level.
Yet, a good poem should leave readers enough imagination space, as Dickinson and Stevens did with their poetry. God knows how many different interpretations today's scholars have about their poems. In this sense, poetry has given readers meaning, in the way each one of these readers understands. - Re: a poemposted on 11/14/2005
纠正一下标点的小问题:
“光, 蓝天,明亮 。。。
向我展开,宛如梦境
我向梦境振翅飞行”
应该是:
“光、蓝天、明亮 、、、
向我展开,宛如梦境
我向梦境振翅飞行”
另外,“光、蓝天”系名词,而“明亮”是形容词,并列似不妥,应改为可以并列的,当然,诗歌不完全在意文法,但本诗句式整齐, 如果能用一个可以并列的词就更为完美。
- Re: a poemposted on 11/15/2005
To xw - 我不喜欢“心事”,是因为这个词女性味太重,不够大气。再说这首诗是在一个故事的框架里展开的。昨天回帖仓促,语气可能显得harsh,敬请谅解。
To feiming - 谢谢你的细心纠正,不过你用的是顿号而不是省略号。另外,“明亮”也可用作名词,再说诗歌的用词和语言是可以创意的,比如ee cumings的诗,全是刻意的语法错误。但我还不想走得这么离谱。
谢谢各位阅读。 - Re: a poemposted on 11/17/2005
一个人:
01岁.成功是————开口能说话
04岁.成功是————不尿裤子
12岁.成功是————有很多朋友
16岁.成功是————有驾驶执照
20岁.成功是————有性生活
35岁.成功是————有很多钱
50岁.成功是————有很多钱
60岁.成功是————有性生活
70岁.成功是————有驾驶执照
75岁.成功是————有很多朋友
90岁.成功是————不尿裤子
100岁成功是————说话能开口
Please paste HTML code and press Enter.
(c) 2010 Maya Chilam Foundation