一丈之内
作者：池莉
结局是很久很久以后才知道的。当我与丈夫共同生活了将近十年，有一日我忽
然明白其实我从前并不认识我丈夫。原来我是在瞎蒙，瞎蒙了一个丈夫，这种醒悟
着实让人大吃一惊。
Around the Husband
By Chi Li, Translated by Fang Huzhai
I did not know the outcome until a long time had passed. One day, after I had lived with my husband for almost ten years, it suddenly dawned on me that I did not really know him. I realized that I had obtained a husband by blindly trying out my luck. The thought really startled me.
关于我自己，有一点我始终很清楚，这就是：我出身于一个十分普通的家庭。
在这种与中国成千上万个家庭雷同的普通家庭里，我长成了一个混同于成千上万个
中国人之中分辨不出的普通小女子。于是便有着普通小女子的许多弱点和做法。比
如，好胜心极强；比如，虚荣心极强；比如，过于敏感或者准确一些说应该是小心
眼；比如，常有理，凡事总认为自己对，别人不对，因而又派生出嘴尖和嘴碎的毛
病。嘴尖是指说话刻薄，嘴碎是说好讲道理好讲话。当然，还有许多属于女人的缺
陷，比如，自我感觉良好(特指那种女性的感觉)；比如，不喜欢比自己漂亮的女人
并且还不肯直说；比如，在极为细小的事物上也难免计较个人得失，等等。
About myself, there is one thing I am always clear about, namely, I come from a very common family. In this common family that is identical with tens of thousands of Chinese families I grew up a common insignificant woman undistinguishable from tens of thousands of Chinese. As a result, I have many weak points and ways of behaving myself like other common insignificant women do, such as an eagerness to get the upper hand such as a strong sense of vanity such as hypersensitivity or rather narrow-mindedness such as thinking I am always right, which means that on every occasion I would claim myself to be right and others to be wrong, and consequently, this leads to the bad habit of sharp talk and talkativeness. Sharp talk of course means I talk sharply, in a mean way. Talkativeness means I like to reason a lot and talk a lot. Of course I have many other womanly defects, such as feeling nice about myself (especially that feminine feeling), such as secretly hating women prettier than myself, such as calculating personal losses and gains in very minute things.
如果是一个少女，以上我列举的种种女性的缺点甚至还没有列举出来的种种女
性的缺点，都不是十分的要紧。少女可塑性强，再说少女即便有些缺点也不显得那
么令人讨厌。问题在于以后，当你由少女渐渐成为女人了，你不再是孩子你便有了
责任和义务。你要与这个社会中的其它人相处，与大家共做一件事，或者一块儿开
会，你周围遍布熟人同事朋友。如果在这种阶段你还有许多的弱点和做派，那就很
可怕了。你会伤害别人也会伤害自己，你会让别人不舒服最终你也不舒服。这时候
无论你是漂亮还是不漂亮，无论你有成就还是没有成就，总之你都是一个极不可爱
的女人。一个女人极不可爱比什么都槽糕。
In a teenager girl all those womanly defects I list above as well as other womanly defects that I have not listed do not matter much. Teenagers are very plastic and easily shapeable, and even with some defects they do not appear very obnoxious. The problem comes later when you grow into a woman. Being no longer a child, you now have responsibilities and duties. You have to interact with other members of the society. You do things together with others or have a meeting with others. All around you are acquaintances, coworkers and friends. If at this stage you still have many weak points and pretensions, it will be terrible. You will hurt others and also yourself. You will discomfort others and also yourself. And now no matter if you are pretty or not, successful or not, you are by no means a loveable woman. A woman that is not loveable is the worst of all.
那么，在由少女向女人过渡的岁月中，什么对女人最重要呢？这便是女人的丈
夫。
What is the most important for a woman during the years when she grows from a teen into a woman then? Her husband.
想来真不可思议，不知道为什么在我们挑选丈夫的时候总是掉入爱情的陷井，
或者更愚蠢地掉进世俗的陷井：门当户对，郎才女貌等等。还有最最可笑的陷井，
那就是时髦，社会上哪一种男人时兴就挑哪一种；实际上以上种种标准都与我们
对丈夫的根本需要离题万里，因为爱情、门第、才能及财富都不能证明一个男人的
品质。
It is really unthinkable, when we really think about it, that why when we select our husbands we always fall into the trap of love, or more stupidly, into the trap of worldly conventions: a matching social status, a pretty face of a woman for an admirable talent in a man, etc. The most laughable trap is following the vogue: we choose whichever kind of men are in vogue. Actually all those standards are far from the fundamental needs we have in a husband, because no love, no social status, no talent nor wealth can testify to a man’s quality.
男人作为一个丈夫之后，他的品质太重要了。我的一个女同学，大学时挺大方
的一个女孩，多年不见之后又重逢，却发现她变得十分阴毒。除了她自己，她谁都
瞧不起，挑这个的毛病那个的缺点，甚至大白天说梦话一般认为别人的衣服都不好
看，惟独她的有审美价值--而偏偏她是个身材有缺陷且胡乱穿衣的人。后来大家到
她家之后才明白了是怎么回事，原来是她丈夫在宠她：丈夫宠妻子没有什么不好；
看上去也挺爱意动人的，所以我的这位同学才浑然不觉其害，但这位丈夫绝对是个
自私自利妄自尊大不知天高地厚的男人。一顿饭吃下来，七八个同学得到了一致的
认识：这种丈夫真是要不得！
A man’s quality is so important after he becomes a husband that it can never be over-emphasized. I have a female classmate who used to be very big-hearted when in college. After we met her again after many years, we found her to be very evil and poisonous. She looked down on everyone of us except herself, picking on this one or that one and even claimed in a day dreaming way that all the others were wearing ugly, that only she had a taste for beauty --- she actually is exactly the one who is not only defective in body but also wears clothes indiscriminately. We saw why only after we visited her home. It turned out that her husband had spoiled her. My classmate, thinking there is nothing wrong for the husband to spoil his wife and that spoiling suggests some kind of love, never realizes the harm. The husband however is definitely a selfish and arrogant man who does know the height of the sky and the depth of the earth. After a meal at her home, the seven or eight of us concluded that such a husband was indeed undesirable.
我和我丈夫可以说是冲着爱情走到一起的。可是婚后不时有大争小吵，排除掉
一部分纯粹的因家务琐事的争吵之外。剩下的都是说不出原因的龃龉。例如，我在
说件什么事的时候，他让我别说了，他告诉我女人不要唠叨。例如，我为某事闷闷
不乐，他不仅不帮着我说话，反而怨我太计较。例如，在某种时刻我的自我感觉良
好，他会冷冷地说很一般。我如果怀疑别人对我不好，我丈夫便会嘲笑我；如果果
真有人在伤害我，我丈夫就会主张不往心里去。我丈夫从不记仇，大大咧咧，对个
人恩怨和名利钱财都看得非常淡漠。我们的争吵大多以我的失败而告终。我有时很
伤心，想：这是什么爱情呢？但伤心的同时又觉得还是丈夫说得有道理一些。
My husband and I came together because of love, but after marriage we frequently quarreled. Apart from some over nothing but house chores, most quarrels resulted from God knows what disagreements. For example, when I was talking about something, he asked me to shut up, telling me women should not be so talkative. Another example, when I was low in mood for something, he did not side with me, but complained that I was too particular. Still another example, at a certain moment when I felt good about myself, he would coldly threw at me a remark saying there was nothing special. If I suspect that others are not treating me well, my husband would laugh at me. If there is indeed someone hurting me, he would suggest that I do not take it seriously. My husband never bears a grudge, seems always careless and is very unconcerned about personal grievances as well as fame and fortune. Our quarrels mostly ended with my defeat. Sometimes I was very sad, thinking: what kind of love is this? But at the same time I felt that he had the reason.
日子就这么过着过着，我慢慢觉察到了自己的变化，我没什么小心眼了，我不
怎么唠叨了，我的自我感觉不那么始终良好了，我不再注意别人对我如何了，我在
变坦率变磊落变真实变质朴，我在有意识地修炼自己。有一日我忽然明白这一切变
化都是丈夫的影响，是无数次争吵的结果。因为有争吵，我想我是在抗拒，要女人
革自己的命简直不可能。但丈夫的影响是挡不住的，两个人朝夕相处，共枕同床，
耳鬓厮磨，同锅吃饭，他的力量巨大而绵密，是一种渗透式的。一对夫妻，不管世
俗的标准认为准强谁弱，男女本身的性质决不会更改，月亮的光辉就是因为有了太
阳的照射。
Days went by like this and I slowly felt my own change. I was less petty-minded, I was less talkative, I was less sure of my feelings about my niceties, I no longer paid attention to how others treated me, I was becoming more straightforward, more open and upright, more true to myself and more natural and unsophisticated. I was consciously cultivating myself. One day I suddenly realized that all those changes were due to the influence of my husband and were the results of countless quarrels with him. Quarreling suggests my resistance, for it is almost impossible for a woman to revolt against herself. The husband’s influence however is irresistible. The couple live together from morning till night, sharing the same pillow and bed, and the same pot and pan. His power is huge, constant, intense and pervasive. No matter how worldly standard dictates who is the strong and who the weak in a couple, the very basic nature of the male and female can never be changed. The moon shines because of the light of the sun.
我从爱信出发蒙了个丈夫，却在将近十年的婚姻生活中才认识他。我大吃一惊。不过，我认为我十分幸运。我们撇开别的不说，仅就个人品质来说，我丈夫的确是个非常大度的头脑清醒的男人。再一次回忆往事，我敢肯定地说：没错，对于女人来说，丈夫的品质最重要。那么千古神话爱情呢？好象是应该在品质之后再说了。即便没有了爱情，与好品质的男人离婚都会离得文明一些--这是可以想象的。
I got a husband by love and trust, but I did not really get to know him until after going through almost ten years of marriage. This really startled me. But I think I am lucky. Other things aside, as far as quality is concerned, my husband is a generous man with a clear mind. On recalling the past, I dare say with certainty that yes, the quality of the husband is the most important thing for a woman. What about the mythical love of thousands of years old? It seems to me that it should come after quality is determined. Even though there is no love, a man with good quality is still desirable because with him, you can imagine, divorce will be more civilized.
亦凡书库扫校
Translated from Yifan Electronic Books
- posted on 01/08/2006
女作家因为她的特定生活和工作方式，把自己圈囿于小环境之内，就会写出一丈之内。
有一个真实的刚发生的案例：
一个很漂亮的女人来到电视台婚姻家庭节目里控诉她的丈夫。这个男人是生意人，北京本地人。女人没说她老家哪儿的，听口音像是东北人。她跟丈夫结婚七八年了，是个全职太太，没有工作。男人在他们结合之初，一直从事小本经营。后来向一个更大行业转型的时候，发生了一件重要的事情，让她觉得自己被人欺骗了，掉进一个他设计的陷阱，后来又发生很多事更不断加深她的疑惑，她不过是他的一枚棋子。
他的公司刚刚转型，是国内方兴未艾的展览展示行业。事业的开端，面临资金、业务客户短缺很多困难。忽然有朋友给他介绍了一个一二百万的单子，客户跟他约定吃完饭就签协议。这么重要的单子，他要她过来座陪。酒席上，他去洗手间的时候，那个大客户对她动手动脚。她觉得不舒服，当着其他客户的面也没敢跟丈夫说，过一会儿就要回家。那个大客户要送她，她不愿意，可是她的丈夫却替她答应了。临走的时候，大客户让他的秘书吃完饭就把单签了。在回家的路上，这个大客户把她强暴了。
他先回到家，等了好久才见她回来。他挺高兴，签下了一二百万的大单，又说又笑。她就开始哭，他也没问她为什么。
后来他生意上很多需要应酬的，他都叫夫人陪着。虽然没再发生那么严重的事，可是她知道他叫她去干什么的。她一推托不去，他就生气。因为他说这是他们家自己的买卖，她理所当然的得当自己的事情来办。他又从来没招聘女秘书，公司里也没有其他女公关，生意场上，夫唱妇随，他觉得再正常不过。
她心里存着一个怀疑，自己当初被出卖了。所以一遇应酬就别别扭扭，他的脾气火爆，看她一点都不痛快，火上来了就摔东西踢门。
在电视访谈过程中，他也被栏目组邀请到现场。听到妻子说起那件事，他说他被冤枉了，他说他也不知道那混蛋是那样的。他说这件事情就算了，我不会嫌弃你的，我会对你好的，我要永远爱你。
参加节目录制的其他嘉宾，有一位律师说：发生这样的事情，您怎么能说就算了？您的公司里从来不照片女秘书、女公关，大家都可以想见，您让您的妻子在生意场上应酬，她担当了什么角色。有一位老阿姨说：一个男人如果干出这样的事，那品质太恶劣了，以后大家都知道他是怎么回事，谁跟他合作。
女人说我要跟他离婚，他不给我自由，我没有一分现金零用钱，出门购物只能刷卡，他在家里也把我当成玻璃人，每天爱搭不理。男人不同意，说我给你吃给你穿，你要出门我派司机送你，你又没工作，你年纪比我小这么多，又这么漂亮，要是到外面工作，别人家老板看上了，又惹出多少事，你还是得跟我一块儿好好弄咱们的公司。
主持人总结：这个世界充满了诱惑，面对诱惑，我们应该怎么抉择？人应该把命运掌握在自己手里。
故事讲完了。
同样是一丈之内，感受又是多么不同。
女人不要被一丈之内迷惑，无论这是个多么优秀的男人。
- Re: 涓�涓堜箣鍐�, 浣滆�咃細姹犺帀posted on 01/09/2006
Anders Zorn (1860-1920)
Valsen
Oil on canvas, 1891
195 1/2 x 133 1/4 inches (496.82 x 338.58 cm)
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