小鱼儿
方壶斋
漂亮的雯雯死了。她是在得知了男朋友变心的消息以后跳楼死的。 她从六层楼准确地跳到了楼下一个烧沥青的大锅里。 当时幸亏是午饭时间, 要不然溅起的沥青一定会把工人们烫伤。
男朋友,那个叫古月文的研究生,一个月后跟新女友,外号小馋猫的图书馆员结婚了。
新女友来自鱼米之乡, 很爱吃鱼, 也很会烧鱼。 每到周末, 她都要到学校门口的菜市场买条活鱼回来,或炸或炖。
古月文也跟着爱吃鱼了。
这天,小馋猫从市上拎回来一条大鲫鱼, 放在案板上的时候还活蹦乱跳的。她左手按住鱼,右手拿起菜刀。
“哎呀!” 一声, 小馋猫觉得左手被扎了一下。 仔细一看, 手背上的一个孔流出来细细的红色的血。
鱼挣扎着掉到了水池里。
小馋猫不懂手背怎么会被扎着 。 她只当自己没留心。
她把鱼重新抓到案板上, 举起了刀。这会儿她看清楚了:
那条鱼背上的一根刺突然伸长了, 弯过来朝她左手背扎下来。
小馋猫惊叫一声, 赶紧把手缩了回来。鲫鱼打了个挺, 又掉进水池。
小馋猫去看鱼背, 那只长刺不见了, 一切都很正常。
“我今天是怎么了?” 她想着。 也许是幻觉。 不过为了安全, 她这次带上了清洁手套。她瞧着水池里的鱼颇带仇恨的眼睛:“奶奶的。 今天是我为刀俎, 你为鱼肉。 我看你还怎么挣蹦!”
她捞起鱼, 放在案板上, 手里的刀迅速砍下去。
鱼头跟身体连接的地方, 被砍出了一道大口子,白花花的肉翻了出来。鱼痉挛了几下不动了。
小馋猫得意地笑了。 她三下五除二地把鱼切成三段, 往锅里倒了油, 打开了炉子。
油锅很快地热了,微微可见油液在滚动。小馋猫用筷子夹起来一段鱼, 放进油锅。
“你死去吧!” 鱼段进锅的时候, 小馋猫听见这样一个声音, 吓了一跳:我没说话呀?
“死, 死。。。” 这时候鱼段炸着的声音, 听起来都是一个“死”字。
小馋猫感觉后脊梁冷飕飕的。 不过她定了一下神对自己说:“别胡思乱想。”
一会儿, 鱼段表面变成了金黄色。 一股香味升起来。小馋猫深深地把香味从鼻子里吸进去。
今天的香味特别诱人。小馋猫一边呼吸着香气,一边把另外两段鱼也放进油锅。炸鱼的香味越来越醇厚,小馋猫越来越陶醉在香味里。
好像还没有炸够似地, 小馋猫把第三段鱼捞出来以后,又打开冰箱寻找。她看见一条鱼。“一定是上个星期买的忘了做了,”她这样想着,把那条白花花,圆滚滚的鱼拿出来,放到案板上,挥刀砍下去。。。
古月文回来了。一进门就闻见一股焦味。 他疾步走进厨房,被眼前的一切惊呆了:
小馋猫的脸俯在油锅里,还在“咝咝”地冒着烟。案板上的盘子里,放着三段炸好的鱼,还有一只炸过的,从手腕切下来的手。古月文赶紧关了火, 把小馋猫的头从油锅里挪开, 赫然看到里面还有一部分小臂在炸着。他看看小馋猫的脸,皮肉已经炸酥了。眼球也是白色的了, 没有任何生气。
突然,那张脸上的嘴咧开笑了。接着小馋猫的没有手的左臂带着血在他眼前晃动着:“你, 你回来了?今, 今天的小鱼儿真, 真他妈地香!”说完,“咚”地一声,小馋猫直挺挺地倒了下去。
古月文脑子一下子炸开了。他想起来雯雯的外号就是“小鱼儿”。
古月文到底是研究生,逻辑思维清晰。他马上给殡仪馆打电话,第二天就把太太烧了。从殡仪馆回来,肚子饿得要死。看到小馋猫炸的鱼,依旧香喷喷的。他想,小馋猫人是没了,可是这鱼还在,而且是给他炸的,不吃对不起小馋猫。他把鱼端到饭桌上,给自己倒了一小杯红葡萄酒,狼吞虎咽地吃起来。不一会儿就把鱼吃完了。
晚上睡觉的时候,古月文做了一个很美的梦。他梦见自己变成一条鱼, 从床上飘起来,在透明的液体中自由地游来游去。他从一个水下洞穴游出去, 游到一个比加州海湾还深的海底峡谷里。他感到自己像秃鹰一样在空中飞翔。他看到下面远处有一团黑色的蠕动的东西。 他又饿了,便朝着那猎物俯冲下去。
第二天一大早。古月文住的13层楼小区围了一圈晨练的人。居委会的刘大妈从人群里挤出来,擦了擦眼角, 自言自语地说:“可惜了的,怎么那么想不开?国家培养一个研究生儿容易吗?再说了, 往哪跳不行啊,非往沥青锅里跳, 溅得我们家玻璃上都是沥青!”
2006,3,27 美国
Little Fish
By Lan
Wenwen, the pretty girl, died. She jumped from a building after learning that her boyfriend no longer loved her. She jumped from the sixth floor of the building right into a big pot with boiling asphalt. Fortunately it was lunch time, otherwise the workers would have been burned by the exploding asphalt.
Her boyfriend, Gu Yuewen, a graduate student, married his new girlfriend in a month. She was a librarian nicknamed Greedy Cat.
His new girlfriend was from the south where fish and rice were abundant. She liked eating fish and was good at cooking fish. Every weekend she would buy a live fish from the market in front of the school and fried it or braised it with thick salty sauce.
Gu Yuewen, influenced by her, grew fond of fish too.
One day, Greedy Cat brought back a sizable carp from the market. It jumped as she put it on the chopping board. Holding the fish with her left hand, she raised her right hand that held the chopping knife.
Alas! Greedy Cat felt a sharp sting on her left hand. Looking, she saw a thin stream of blood coming out from the back of her hand.
The fish flopped into the basin.
Greedy Cat did not understand how the back of her hand would have been stung. She took it that she was careless.
Grasping the fish and putting it on the board, she raised the knife again. This time, she saw clearly:
A sharp barb in the spiny fin suddenly stretched out and bending, it dashed at the back of her left hand.
Greedy Cat uttered a loud shout and withdrew her hand in time. The carp, with an energetic struggling, fell into the basin again.
Greedy Cat examined the fin and the long bone was not there. Everything looked normal.
"What's wrong with me?" she thought. Maybe it was her imagination. For safety sake, she put on the cleaning glove. Looking at the hatred filled eye of the fish in the basin, she said: "Damn you. Today you are the meat on my chopping board. I would like to see how you survive it!"
She scooped up the fish and put it on the board. The knife came down quickly.
A big cut appeared where the fish head connected with the body with white meat bulging out. After a few jerks, the fish lay still.
Greedy Cat smiled triumphantly. She cut the fish quickly into three parts, poured oil in the pan and turned on the stove.
The pan heated fast and the oil was seen rolling. Greedy Cat caught a piece of the fish with chopsticks and put it into the pan.
"Death on you!" when the fish entered the pan, Greedy Cat heard a voice and was startled. No one was speaking.
"Death, death, th th...." the sizzling sound of fish being fried sounded like the word "death".
Greedy Cat felt a cold air on her spine. But she held herself and said: "What nonsense!"
In a while the surface of the fish turned golden yellow and a pleasant smell filled the kitchen. Greedy Cat breathed a deep breath, taking it fully.
The smell was very enticing today. Smelling and breathing it, Greedy Cat put the other two pieces into the frying pan. The smell became strong and she was intoxicated.
As if she was not satisfied with the three pieces of fish, Greedy Cat opened the door of the fridge after taking out the third piece and searched in it. She saw a fish. "Must be the one I bought last week and I forgot to cook it." Thus thinking, she took out the white and round-bodied fish and put it on the chopping board. Her knife hacked down.
Gu Yuewen came home. He smelled burning as soon as he entered the door. Quickly he went to the kitchen and was stunned by what he saw.
Greedy Cat's face was in the frying pan, giving out smoke with a sizzling sound. On a plate on the board, there were three pieces of fried fish and a fried hand cut off at the wrist. Gu Yuewen turned off the stove quickly, lifted the head of Greey Cat and saw to his surprise that a small section of human forearm was frying in the pan. He looked at the face of Greedy Cat. The flesh and the skin were loose and well fried. Her eyeballs were white without life.
All of a sudden the mouth of that face opened with a grin. The handless left arm of Greedy Cat, blood dripping, waved in front of his eyes:" You, you are back? To-, today's little fish was re-really tasty!" That said, Greedy Cat fell to the floor like a piece of wood.
Gu Yuewen's brain felt like being bombed. He remembered that Wenwen's nick name had been "Little Fish".
Gu Yuewen was after all a graduate student with clear logical thinking. He immediately called the funeral office and had Greedy Cat cremated the following day. Coming back from the funeral service, he was terribly hungry. He saw the fried fish, still smelling fantastic. Thought he: well, Greedy Cat was gone, but the fish was here and it was fried for him. He could not dump it into the trash to ruin Greedy Cat's good work. He put the fish on the dinning table, poured a small cup of red wine and gobbled the fish down as fast as a magician made the world to disappear.
At night while sleeping, Gu Yuewen had a nice dream. He became a fish and swam away from the bed. He swam freely in transparent liquid and out from a underwater cave into a canyon deeper than the California bay. He felt like an eagle flying in the sky. A black thin was seen moving down in the distance. He was hungry again and dashed down towards the game.
The next day, a crowd of people out for morning exercise stood in a circle in Gu Yuewen's neighborhood that consisted of 13 storey buildings. Aunt Liu of the neighborhood committee came out from the crowd, wiped the corner of her eye and said:"What a pity? Why is he so narrow minded? Is it easy for the state to train a graduate student. Beside, where else couldn't you jump to? Why the asphalt pot? My windows were all smeared!"
2006,3,27 美国
- posted on 03/28/2006
葬鱼
方壶斋
我们对外汉语教学教研室王老先生的书架子上,有一个小鱼缸,里面养着一条鱼。这条鱼的名字叫王大年。为什么叫王大年呢? 因为他是我们的汉语课本里面的一个大红人。这条鱼是一个已经毕业了的美国学生傅小姐交给王老养的,因为她毕业的时候,没法子把它带走,所以必得交给什么人。傅小姐走的那天,拿着鱼缸从外面进来,对王老说:“王老师,我这条鱼叫王大年,请您好好照顾它。”
有一次王老回家后,打来电话,说忘了喂鱼,让我给喂一下。我去喂的时候,仔细看了看这条鱼,总觉着它病病歪歪的,远没有书架子上挂着的那条电子鱼大嘴比利唱歌的时候摇头摆尾地那么扑喇喇的。
新的学生来了以后,看见王大年,很喜欢它。尤其是几个女同学。她们常常到办公室来看王大年。他们都觉得王大年在鱼缸里的生活太孤单了,太没有意思了,因为它没有女朋友。她们就说要给王大年找一个方宝兰。方宝兰女士是汉语课本里的另一个红人。
可是今年二月二十八号,美国学生柯小姐对一个老师说:“ 不好了,王大年不行了。它游泳都歪着身子了。”当然,她的汉语水平还没有这么地道。她是用学会的几个词,外加肢体语言说的这番话。到了下午,王大年眼看着就要死了。她和另外一个美国女同学-- 从前叫无夏,现在因为结婚了,让我们都叫她柯太太,因为她给她丈夫取了个“柯” 姓-- 连课都不上了,守在王大年身边,一直等到它离开人世。她们在那里守候的时候,我并不知道是怎么一回事,总觉得今天的气氛有点不对劲。我以为布什已经命令向伊拉克开战了。
后来我在教室外头,柯太太从屋里走出来,看见我,表情严肃地说:“王大年死了。” 我说:“喔。” 柯太太平常的时候都是笑嘻嘻的,是这个班上几个疯疯癫癫的女孩子之一。我只见过她严肃过一次。那是有一次上课前,不知道为什么,被一个班干部训斥。那个班干部比她矮,可是训起人来一点儿也不含糊。柯太太立正站着,还把上半身稍微俯下来,大概是为了迁就那位班干部的高度。我总觉得她那严肃之中的这个姿势,有一点滑稽的味道。
我听说办公室的同事们说,王大年死后,这两个女生红着眼睛,把它拿到办公室外头去埋了。这立刻让我想到了红楼梦里的黛玉葬花。美国女生很少有林黛玉的身材和气质的,可是柯太太倒是身材高挑,脸型也瘦,那天挨训的样子,也很有点经历风刀霜剑的味道。
于是我便这样想象着她们葬鱼的情形:她们一边儿往王大年身上盖着土,一边唱着:
蒙市之地,四季如春。在水一方,有位士绅。名王大年,日见昏晨。情同手足,爱如至亲。念汝孤独,宜配佳人。谁料薄命,黄泉早奔。闻耗悲恸,如坐毡针。携友陪伴,送归天门。今择良冢,为汝筑坟。松涛翠柏,碧海白云。我今葬侬,人笑我笨。他年葬我,知是谁人!
她们唱着唱着,眼角边不觉几滴泪珠潸然而下。闻者具为之唏嘘。余感其爱心,为之记。
公元两千零三年二月二十八日。
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