向聂鲁达忏悔
我是文学海洋里的一个溺儿
曾和你疯狂收集的天然海螺海贝
在一起
它们投入了你的空网
而我却只抓住了你留下的诗句
只是几节
只是几句
别怪我
就是整座森林也会被我放弃,为了几根稻草
因为我是一个溺水的人
- posted on 09/25/2006
空网
我如一张空网
飘到了世人的视野以外, 死寂的黑暗里
又从那些习惯于在幼小的橙子上
摸索地球经纬的手指间滑落下来
我到处飘荡,却其实和你一样
在梦里探索著没有尽头的星空
等全身赤裸地醒来,却发现
只有一条鱼被风圈在了我的网中
Enigmas --By Pablo Neruda
...
I am nothing but the empty net which has gone on ahead
of human eyes, dead in those darkness,
of fingers accustomed to the triangle, longitudes
on the timid globe of an orange.
I walked around as you do, investigating the endless star,
and in my net, during the night, I woke up naked,
the only thing caught, a fish trapped inside the wind.
...
- posted on 09/25/2006
诗
哪一天, 他降临了
是他找到了我
在我全然无知的时候
你从哪儿来
从一个冬天
还是一条没有季节的河
我不知道他怎样找到了我
没有呼唤, 没有一个字,难道是沉默
把我召唤
从大街上, 从迷失的夜里
从陌生人那里,从最狂野的热忱
和最冷静的归途上
他伸出了手
我就不再是我
POETRY
--By Pablo Neruda
And it was at that age ... Poetry arrived
in search of me. I don't know, I don't know where
it came from, from winter or a river.
I don't know how or when,
no they were not voices, they were not
words, nor silence,
but from a street I was summoned,
from the branches of night,
abruptly from the others,
among violent fires
or returning alone,
there I was without a face
and it touched me.
...
- Re: 【长话短说】向聂鲁达忏悔posted on 09/25/2006
笨笨 wrote:
向聂鲁达忏悔
......
别怪我
就是森林也会被我抛弃,为了几根稻草
因为我是一个溺水的人
This is poetic. :-) - Re: 【长话短说】向聂鲁达忏悔posted on 09/26/2006
我其实没搞懂他最后想说啥, 你的理解提供了又一种可能 -:)
裸睡者, 梦游, 半夜上网之徒?
笨笨 wrote:
空网
我如一张空网
飘到了世人的视野以外, 死寂的黑暗里
又从那些习惯于在幼小的橙子上
摸索地球经纬的手指间滑落下来
我到处飘荡,却其实和你一样
在梦里探索著没有尽头的星空
等全身赤裸地醒来,却发现
只有一条鱼被风圈在了我的网中
- posted on 09/27/2006
POETRY
--By Pablo Neruda
And it was at that age ... Poetry arrived
in search of me. I don't know, I don't know where
it came from, from winter or a river.
I don't know how or when,
no they were not voices, they were not
words, nor silence,
but from a street I was summoned,
from the branches of night,
abruptly from the others,
among violent fires
or returning alone,
there I was without a face
and it touched me.
诗
--巴勃罗.聂炒?
哪一天, 他降临了
是他找到了我,在我全然无知的时候
他从哪儿来,是从一个冬天还是一条没有季节的河
我不知道他怎样找到了我
没有呼唤, 没有一个字,难道是沉默把我召唤
从大街上, 从迷失的夜里
从陌生人那里,从最狂野的热忱
和最冷静的归途上
他伸出了手
我就不再是我
I did not know what to say, my mouth
had no way
with names,
my eyes were blind,
and something started in my soul,
fever or forgotten wings,
and I made my own way,
deciphering
that fire,
and I wrote the first faint line,
faint, without substance, pure
nonsense,
pure wisdom
of someone who knows nothing,
and suddenly I saw
the heavens
unfastened
and open,
planets,
palpitating plantations,
shadow perforated,
riddled
with arrows, fire and flowers,
the winding night, the universe.
我不知道怎样表白,说不出任何名字,
看不到任何人,
有什么东西让我的灵魂在发烫
难道我真有一双被遗忘了的翅膀
我挣扎在
狂野的热忱中
写出了虚弱的第一行
它虚弱,空洞
用尽了一个无知的人
所有的智慧
所有无用的话语
突然我看到
天堂的门在开启
我仿佛看到了另外的星球
那里跳跃的山林
闪烁的投影
还有弓箭,火焰,花朵一齐席卷着
这风中的夜,这浩然的宇宙
And I, infinitesimal being,
drunk with the great starry
void,
likeness, image of
mystery,
felt myself a pure part
of the abyss,
I wheeled with the stars,
my heart broke loose on the wind.
而我,如此渺小的我
与璀璨的的星空
大爱,大神秘共醉于风中
存在于无限中的我
与星光同行
心从此飞扬 - Re: 【长话短说】向聂鲁达忏悔posted on 09/27/2006
水深杀我~~~ - Re: 【长话短说】向聂鲁达忏悔posted on 09/27/2006
发现忏悔不管什么用, 还是向WOA学习, 好好的翻,完成一首.
不然断章取义,弄得剽窃不象剽窃, 创作不象创作:)
不过我感兴趣的是这首的第一节.另一首Enigmas的最后两节.
奇平不是经常译诗的吗, 既然来了, 就请给笨笨指导一把吧. - Re: 【长话短说】向聂鲁达忏悔posted on 09/27/2006
我还要向你学习啊,怎敢胡乱指手画脚:) - Re: 【长话短说】试译聂鲁达posted on 10/02/2006
又琢磨了几下,你更想演绎it touched me前后的兑变,可否用“点化了我”? 不过佛是晓以智慧, 而他们的神则要求非理性的寄托,所以应该没有点化之说。
另外,Winding night 好像是winding down 的意思, 不是windy night 吧?
- Re: 【长话短说】试译聂鲁达posted on 10/03/2006
多谢WOA. 你真好.这么大的错误, 没人肯早告诉我,无比的伤心:)
我在外面, 不多写了. 等回忆起来我到底想演绎什么,再说. - Re: 【长话短说】试译聂鲁达posted on 10/06/2006
有个好办法,把那风中两字删去就可以遮掩我的错误了.
it touched me 翻成中文"点化了我",既具体又有更多含义.与此相反,I wheeled with the stars翻成中文就一定会丢失意思.
我拟人化成他,伸出了手, 原本是制造一个小结尾, 就打住了.没想继续译.
我自己尚未体会到诗有点化的功能,也许是我没得真意.倒是感受过一种臆语状态之后的豁然开朗.但仅仅是心情.不见得对我有什么更深的启迪. - RE: 【长话短说】试译聂鲁达posted on 12/17/2013
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