CND上在大谈黄段子,这个不错,搬过来。:-)
引者按:炉匠师傅这个黄段子好。可咱做了点算术,动的次数是不是有点太少了?(千万别误会,完全是从盈利的角度考虑的。)
引文:
炉匠 写道:
现在国内作官,作事,买股票啥的都讲究有专家点评,经典案例指导. 其中北大光华学院的指导最有名.下面是最新北大光华MBA营销案例:
一男赶集卖猪,天黑遇雨,二十头猪未卖成,到一农家借宿。
少妇说:家里只一人不便。
男:求你了大妹子,给猪一头。
女:好吧,但家只有一床。
男:我也到床上睡,再给猪一头。
女:同意。
半夜男商女,我到你上面睡,女不肯。
男:给猪两头。
女允,要求上去不能动。
少顷,男忍不住,央求动一下,女不肯。
男:动一下给猪两头。
女同意。
男动了八次停下
女问:为何不动?
男说:猪没了。
女小声说:要不我给你猪……
天亮后,男吹着口哨赶30头(含少妇家的10头)猪赶集去了......
哈佛评论:
要发现客户潜在需求,前期必须引导,培养用户需求,因此产生的投入是符合发展规律的.
- Re: ZT: CND 黄段子posted on 02/28/2008
哈哈,这引者也太学究了点儿,那些猪就不兴易手几回么?:) - Re: ZT: CND 黄段子posted on 02/28/2008
浮生 wrote:
哈哈,这引者也太学究了点儿,那些猪就不兴易手几回么?:)
高,实在是高!!!:) - Re: ZT: CND 黄段子posted on 02/28/2008
如果脱过敏的话,早上他就有31头猪了,加上全部动产不动产。;) - Re: ZT: CND 黄段子posted on 02/28/2008
浮生 wrote:
哈哈,这引者也太学究了点儿,那些猪就不兴易手几回么?:)
炉匠 写道:
屎蛋福大学超高钻石级MBA 班点评:
在不影响最大盈利的前提下可以尽量用减价,免费赠送等促销方法使顾客达到最大程度的满意,是商场实践的一种良性循环规则。
But I certainly like your answer much better!
Fusheng, how come you never fail to amaze me? :-) - Re: ZT: CND 黄段子posted on 02/28/2008
浮生浮生,还有谁比你反应更灵敏?!:-)
浮生 wrote:
哈哈,这引者也太学究了点儿,那些猪就不兴易手几回么?:) - Re: ZT: CND 黄段子posted on 02/28/2008
touche wrote:
如果脱过敏的话,早上他就有31头猪了,加上全部动产不动产。;)
touche 别忘了咖啡可是女性至上,你这么做加法不怕MM们跟你急呀 :) - Re: ZT: CND 黄段子posted on 02/28/2008
浮生简直就象个女嬉皮。嗯...
- posted on 02/29/2008
某男看到一则广告:不开刀、不住院、让你的生殖器轻轻松松变大变粗!顿大喜,立即汇款。数日,收到邮包,急切地打开一看!!原来是一放大镜!
2) 演出结束,领导上台拉住漂亮的蒙古族女演员的手嘘寒问暖不放手,还一个劲地问叫什么名字?女演员激动地说:玛勒格碧.
3) 生日派对上蛋糕只剩下一块,上面恰好写着生日两个字。男孩大方地拿起刀一分为二,温柔地对女孩说:“我负责‘日’,你负责‘生’,好吗?”
4) 人生感语:当工作和爱情不如意时,可掏出小弟弟,凝视它、静思它所蕴含之精神:能长能短,能粗能细,能伸能曲,能软能硬,学学它,眼前的困难算个鸟!
5) 一幼儿园的小破孩躲在厕所里吸烟,被老师抓到,老师问他为什么吸烟,他低下头,深沉的回答:祖国未统一,心情很郁闷!
6) 处长与漂亮的处女跳舞,舞曲高潮时处长有点激动,下面挺了起来,处女察觉后好奇地问:你下面是什么?处长:我下面是科长。处女:官不大还挺硬的
7) 女市长和男书记共同赴宴,席间高兴之余,书记说:书记一般都干过市长!女市长机灵地应答:是的,书记一般是市长生(升)的!
8) 有一对男女过桥,桥上有一只老虎怒目而视,女略思索后脱衣而过。男也学脱衣而过,却被老虎扑倒。男不解?老虎说:你以为你有根小棍儿就是武松了?
9) 老师让学生用“皱纹”造句,一学生写:我爸爸的蛋上有很多皱纹,老师批评家长不该啥地方都让孩子看。家长解释说:这孩子从小粗心,少写一个“脸”字.
某单位一科长升级为付处长,为庆祝去嫖娼。事毕问风尘女曰,“你是处女吗?” 女怕答错了影响小费,沉吟良久方道:“要说是吧,你也知到我是干什么的,可要说不是吧,我还真没接过婚。那就算个付处级吧!” - posted on 02/29/2008
现实的社会,毁了我一个做好人的机会!
看到你我连食欲都没了,还谈什么性欲?
我要是妞,早爱上我了……
我不能给你幸福,但可以给你舒服!
思想有多远,你就给我滚多远!
客官请自重,小女子只卖身不卖艺
你不能让所有人满意,因为不是所有的人都是人!
你给我一份爱,我还你一夜情!
男人的谎言可以骗女人一夜,女人的谎言可以骗男人一生
我为兄弟两肋插刀,为女人插兄弟两刀。
鸟大了什么林子都有!
只有在大排长龙时,才能真正意识到自己是“龙的传人” - Re: ZT: CND 黄段子posted on 02/29/2008
学校朝会,训导主任做最后的结语:“总之,我希望各位无论身在何处,都要牢记自己是本校的学生,绝不可以边走边抽烟、在教室里不准穿着短裤,就算在自己的房间里,也不可以谈论不雅的话题。”
“还有,女同学们,如果有一些猪哥男生纠缠你,千万别理他。你们要自己问问自己,值得为了一个小时的快乐,毁了你一生的名誉吗?”
“好了,有什么问题没有?”
就在全场一片静默时,突然传出一个细嫩的声音说:“请问……我要怎么做,才能让他持续一个小时?” - posted on 02/29/2008
Marriage - Part I
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night .....whether you're here or not."
(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)
************************************
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
******************************
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
After some time , he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)
******************************************
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
**************************************
Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 am" He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said , "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
**************************************
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT.
_________________
(借用一下老马和彦彬的名句)
男人的一生要这样过的:不要为没有得到过各国美女的真爱而痛心疾首,也不要为没有学会电子、摄影、跳舞、钓鱼、飞机、滑雪、潜水和帆船而懊悔莫及。 - Re: ZT: CND 黄段子posted on 02/29/2008
有个男人出差回来,撞见老婆正与邻居的老公厮磨在一起。他怒气冲冲的去敲隔壁的门,向邻居的太太说:“你老公正与我老婆在偷情。”
“太不像话了,我们一定要报复。”邻居太太把他拉进房内,脱下衣服……不久,二人躺在床上休息,数分钟后,邻居太太又说:“怎么样?我们再来报复一次吧!”
就这样,连续报复了四次,当邻居太太要求第五次的报复时,男人摇摇晃晃的站起来说:
“算了!我己经不恨他们了……” - Re: ZT: CND 黄段子posted on 03/06/2008
各位,问个好。再贴几个
乡长穿着短裤作报告,讲到激动时把一只脚抬放在椅子上,小弟弟的露了出来,
会场一片哗然,他以为 大家不耐烦,就大声说:这只是个头,后面还长着呢!
某日深夜,公安局有案情而紧急集合,一女警察训犬员,着急内裤忘穿
了, 情急之下掀开裙子,让她训的狗闻了闻下部,命令狗将她的内裤找回来,过了一
会儿,一男警察急匆匆的跑过来,对女警察说:”不好了,不好了,你的狗将咱局长
的蛋子给咬下来了!” - Re: ZT: CND 黄段子posted on 03/06/2008
再贴一个:
某男拿女医生所开处方转了半天回来问:“13超到底在哪?”女医生笑曰:“不是13超,是B超。”男大怒曰:“靠,你的‘B'分得也太开了! - posted on 03/06/2008
热烈欢迎炉匠师傅!这下咖啡更热闹了!:-)
赶紧的,上这条线去看看,又有个音乐/神经生理问题:
http://www.mayacafe.com/forum/topic1sp.php3?tkey=1204483752
为什么一个曲子结束在西上,就让人心理不舒服,而一定要把它变成豆来解决掉呢?对没有丝毫音乐训练的人也是这样吗?
It has something to do with consonance vs. dissonance and their impacts on human emotions. But I am not qualified to comment on that, there are a lot of music experts here in the café who could do better job to explain it.
guanzhong wrote:
这就很有意思了,为什么会这样呢?有什么神经生理方面的原因吗?苏三能不能展开说说?先谢了。
Susan wrote:
guanzhong wrote:Yes.
对没有丝毫音乐训练的人也是这样吗? - Re: ZT: CND 黄段子posted on 03/06/2008
欢迎欢迎,热烈欢迎。我们这里不扫黄:-)
guanzhong wrote:
热烈欢迎炉匠师傅!这下咖啡更热闹了!:-) - Re: ZT: CND 黄段子posted on 03/06/2008
在月水社听到的:
上语文课。
老师: 软,怎么拼音?
众男生:日完——软。
老师: 不对,重新回答。
众女生:日完俺——软。 - Re: ZT: CND 黄段子posted on 03/07/2008
刚来一看,原来都是熟脸,好亲切。可俺不能光贴黄缎子啊。有空还是写点科普。可是写科普就象蚕吐丝一样,忙活一辈子才能出那么一点点。而写黄缎子则象生产人中黄,不管口味是否高尚一使劲就是一大堆。
你那个音乐问题俺是头一回听说,答不上,但很有意思。
guanzhong wrote:
热烈欢迎炉匠师傅!这下咖啡更热闹了!:-) - Re: ZT: CND 黄段子posted on 03/08/2008
炉匠 wrote:
刚来一看,原来都是熟脸,好亲切。可俺不能光贴黄缎子啊。有空还是写点科普。可是写科普就象蚕吐丝一样,忙活一辈子才能出那么一点点。而写黄缎子则象生产人中黄,不管口味是否高尚一使劲就是一大堆。
What, 科普? to us? I have devoted the best time of my life to the so called science. I 'd rather hear more 黄段子.:)
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