- I perfectly understand your sudden addiction to things. I do similar things and our psychology is probably similar too--we are afraid of the things we say we want because we are afraid of finding out that we are wrong (we fail to achieve, we don't really want it, we are not good at it, etc.). Whenever I get close to starting a project in one area, I suddenly will work on another area (like watching 90 movies in one month saying I am surveying the history of films, or starting a new blog when I had already a dozen of them). I have successfully developed a few areas among which I can switch freely, but in the end I never achieve anything.
So let's watch out for this fear of realization together.
Also, for me, I should not act more like a kid than I already do, but rather develop a discipline which I badly need. Perhaps I can say, we should use the heart of a child to live the life of a sage.
Susan wrote:
I kind of lost my way also lately... Feeling doing something real crazy. Perhaps one shouldn't overanalyze why she wants certain things. Maybe we should act like a kid: I want it, so I am going to get it one way or another.
One thing I need to warn myself: when I am at a thredshold or a crossroad or a tipping point or whatever, I would suddenly fall into some sort of addiction, something that I normally wouldn't pay much attention to but now suddenly feel crazy about, like politics, computer games, junk news on the internet, etc. I guess it helps me to divert my attention away from what I really want but what scares the hell out of me. But the temporary relief only brings depression and self-loath later on. That becomes a constant battle inside me because the "I" inside me can always find some really creative ways to block anything I'd like to achieve.
闃垮