- Ben Ben,
This is a good poem, at least one of yours that I may understand, except for the last two lines. Others already mentioned here that the last line is hard to understand, but the one before that is also weak. Instead of an image, it refers to happiness, which seems hollow. The line above it is still a very good one, though. Otherwise I would suggest you drop the whole paragraph. Given the fact that the the first line of it is so good, I wish to see you follow up with two better lines afterwards. Hope you don't mind me talking nonesense here. I am truly a layman as far as poetry is concerned.
zxd