Eternal happiness or eternal boredom?

Eternal happiness or eternal boredom? | May 13 2006

那边在那里讲老了呀读书的呀，就又让我想起死这件事情。这些混在一起想的时候，我的贪心就会如潮水般的涨。所幸不常如此。不然活着的日子都拿来想死，岂不白活。上一次想不死的时候花了半宿想永生的状态，这是当时的结论 (after much of rambling)。现在看看，想法大致没有变，不长进啊 --

It seems to me that all the excitement and frustration about life is because that we only have limited time on this earth. If we could live forever, there would be no urgency in anything; there would be infinite possibilities. On the other hand, unless we would also have infinite capabilities, we would not be able to realize all the possibilities. Perhaps time would allow us to develop infinite capabilities. After all, time would be on our side. We could take as long as we wish to think, to learn, and to sharpen our skills. There would be no question of "what if".

There are two models of eternal life. In the first model, one could take multiple paths in life, sequentially, equivalent of living in infinite time. In the second model, one could live parallel lives simultaneously, equivalent of living in infinite space. Other modes are combinations of the two. The first model would also mean that one might never get to a particular path. So the second model may sound more appealing. Now the question becomes, if we could live any life we wanted at any time, if we knew we could live any life we wanted at any time, would it still be interesting? Would we really want to live still? Wouldn't it be rather disappointing? Wouldn't it take away all the hope? There would be nothing that we miss; there would be no longing. Without death, life would have no meaning. Is it true?

Searching for meaning drives me; searching for knowledge excites me. If there would be no meaning to pursuit, would the pursuit of knowledge alone exciting enough? There would be infinite amount of new knowledge, new ideas. It is true that one would have plenty of time to learn them, but are infinities all the same? I think not - I would never be able to catch up even though theoretically I should be. This provides a hope of excitement yet comes with it is frustration. The frustration however would not be quite the same as what I have in this life. My frustration in this life is about impossibility. The frustration in an eternal life would be that everything is possible if one keeps going yet one can only reach certain possibilities in infinity, which means that one has to keep trying forever. That is the trap of eternity. Would the second model, where one could live infinite number of parallel lives, then be better? What this model implies is that one could exhaust all possibilities instantaneously. Then, what's the point of living longer any more?

In both models, instead of happiness, I think one would fall into eternal fatigue and boredom. The only way to escape the boredom would be to die. Death, in the sense of terminating it all - the only impossibility in an eternal life - therefore, gives one hope. It seems that I have now convinced myself, theoretically, that death is a wonderful thing! It gives hope in an eternal life; it gives meaning in a temporal life. As mush as I don't want to die, I don't want to live forever either!