感觉很好玩。时逢中秋，开条线抛砖引玉。
绝句
床前明月光
李白
床前明月光，
疑是地上霜。
举头望明月，
低头思故乡。
Four Short Lines
Moonlight
Li Bai
Moonlight on the bedside,
Is it not morning dew?
Raise my head I watch the moon,
Lower my head I remember my home.
- posted on 09/28/2006
七律
黄鹤楼
崔灏
昔人已乘黄鹤去，此地空余黄鹤楼。
黄鹤一去不复返，白云千载空悠悠。
晴川历历汉阳树，芳草萋萋鹦鹉洲。
日暮乡关何处是，烟波江上使人愁。
Eight Long Lines
The Pavilion of Yellow-Footed Crane
Cui Hao
Gone was the yellow-legged crane, his master atop,
Left behind a pavilion he once nestled.
Away he went and never seemed to have returned,
For a thousand years in the sky only the clouds afloat.
Trees upon trees bathing in the sun by the River Han,
Grass patches awash in the rain on the sandbank of Parrot.
The sun sets, but I know not one path to my home,
The wavy, smoky river, how you fill my chest with sorrow. - Re: 姹夎瘲鑻辫瘧posted on 09/28/2006
黄鹤楼的第二稿比第一稿好，尤其是将 heavy改成 sorrow(昨天我就想说）更贴切。 另外filled用得也好。
我现在不知道'去“是翻成fly away 好呢，还是go away 好， 另外， smoky好呢还是foggy好 - posted on 09/28/2006
Four Short Lines
Moonlight
Moonlight on the bedside,
Is it not morning dew?
Raise my head I watch the moon,
Lower my head I remember my home.
月光
[美] 李自成
月光照床铺，
莫非是朝露。
抬头看月亮，
低头想故土。
Eight Long Lines
The Pavilion of Yellow-Footed Crane
Gone was the yellow-footed crane, his master atop,
Remained is a pavilion he once nestled.
Away he went and never seemed to have returned,
For a thousand years in the sky only the clouds afloat.
Trees upon trees bathing in the sun by the River Han,
Grass patches freshly awash in the rain on the sandbank of Parrot.
The sun sets, but I know not one path to my home,
You the smoky river, you filled my chest with sorrow.
黄腿鹤的亭子间
[美] 李自成
师父乘鹤去寻宝, 徒留亭子空潦倒。
一去千年不回头, 万里长空白云飘。
阳光普照汉江树, 雨水浇灌鹦鹉岛。
太阳落山迷路了, 满腔烟雾真烦恼。
--------------------------------------------------------------------
再来一把颠倒译, 最大限度地忠于原著.
替九九教授搞笑, 祝各位中秋快乐!
- Re: 姹夎瘲鑻辫瘧posted on 09/28/2006
WOA wrote:
再来一把颠倒译, 最大限度地忠于原著.
:-)) - Re: 姹夎瘲鑻辫瘧posted on 09/28/2006
Faithful or not faithful, it's almost impossible to translate Chinese classical poems. Nice try, poets of Mayacafe! :-)
八十一子 wrote:
WOA wrote::-))
再来一把颠倒译, 最大限度地忠于原著.
- Re: 姹夎瘲鑻辫瘧posted on 09/30/2006
是啊。可是，要是各位不出马，那唐诗就要被一些汉学家们指鹿为马了。就像七月说的那样，读了半天不知所云。至少，咱这个保证让人一见就知。
Ruozhi wrote:
Faithful or not faithful, it's almost impossible to translate Chinese classical poems. Nice try, poets of Mayacafe! :-)
八十一子 wrote:
WOA wrote::-))
再来一把颠倒译, 最大限度地忠于原著.
- Re: 姹夎瘲鑻辫瘧posted on 09/30/2006
Did Zhuang Zhou dream he was the butterfly,
Or the butterfly that it was Zhuang Zhou?
In one body's metamorphoses,
All is present, infinite virtue!
You surely know Fairyland's oceans
Were made again a limpid brooklet,
Down at Green Gate the melon gardener
Once used to be Marquis of Dong-ling?
Wealth and honor were always like this:
You strive and strive, but what do you seek?
不是我译的。猜吧。不是猜译者。 - Re: 姹夎瘲鑻辫瘧posted on 09/30/2006
Here's another idea to take your initiative up to the next level (for better or for worse).
What about changing "morning dew" to "Mountain Dew" and selling the poem to PepsiCo for use in its Mountain Dew product advertisement targeting Asian consumers in North America?
Four Short Lines
Moonlight
Li Bai
Moonlight on the bedside,
Is it not morning dew?
Raise my head I watch the moon,
Lower my head I remember my home. - posted on 09/30/2006
阿姗 wrote:
Did Zhuang Zhou dream he was the butterfly,
Or the butterfly that it was Zhuang Zhou?
In one body's metamorphoses,
All is present, infinite virtue!
You surely know Fairyland's oceans
Were made again a limpid brooklet,
Down at Green Gate the melon gardener
Once used to be Marquis of Dong-ling?
Wealth and honor were always like this:
You strive and strive, but what do you seek?
不是我译的。猜吧。不是猜译者。
除开庄周那句，一律猜不到。:-( - posted on 09/30/2006
Fengzi wrote:
Here's another idea to take your initiative up to the next level (for better or for worse).
What about changing "morning dew" to "Mountain Dew" and selling the poem to PepsiCo for use in its Mountain Dew product advertisement targeting Asian consumers in North America?
Four Short Lines
Moonlight
Li Bai
Moonlight on the bedside,
Is it not morning dew?
Raise my head I watch the moon,
Lower my head I remember my home.
风子好主意。请就去办。:-) - posted on 09/30/2006
阿姗 wrote:
Did Zhuang Zhou dream he was the butterfly,
Or the butterfly that it was Zhuang Zhou?
In one body's metamorphoses,
All is present, infinite virtue!
You surely know Fairyland's oceans
Were made again a limpid brooklet,
Down at Green Gate the melon gardener
Once used to be Marquis of Dong-ling?
Wealth and honor were always like this:
You strive and strive, but what do you seek?
不是我译的。猜吧。不是猜译者。
为什么不猜译者呢？
原著：李白
译者：Arthur Cooper
庄周梦蝴蝶，
蝴蝶梦庄周。
一体更变易，
万事良悠悠。
乃之蓬莱水，
复作清浅流！
青门 种瓜人，
旧日东陵侯。
富贵作如此，
营营何所求？
====
古狗帮我猜的 ：） - Re: 姹夎瘲鑻辫瘧posted on 09/30/2006
浮生MM太厉害了。给附加分！打倒古狗！
WOA wrote:
黄腿鹤的亭子间
[美] 李自成
师父乘鹤去寻宝, 徒留亭子空潦倒。
一去千年不回头, 万里长空白云飘。
阳光普照汉江树, 雨水浇灌鹦鹉岛。
太阳落山迷路了, 满腔烟雾真烦恼。
-----------------------------------
再来一把颠倒译, 最大限度地忠于原著.
替九九教授搞笑, 祝各位中秋快乐!
嘻嘻，好玩。大家都来吧。 - posted on 09/30/2006
阿姗 wrote:
浮生MM太厉害了。给附加分！打倒古狗！
呵呵，是古狗太厉害了。我原来总是愁自己的内存小，现在不愁了。
好，接着玩儿。又说酒又要中秋的，猜猜下面这个吧。我还真不知译者是谁，觉着译的不错。
Among the flowers from a pot of wine
I drink alone beneath the bright moonshine.
I raise my cup to invite the moon, who blends
Her light with my shadow and we're three friends.
The moon does not know how to drink her share;
In vain my shadow follows me here and there.
Together with them for the time I stay
And make merry before spring's spend away.
I sing the moon to linger with my song;
My shadow disperses as I dance along.
Sober, we three remain cheerful and gay;
Drunken, we part and each goes his way.
Our friendship will outshine all earthly love;
Next time we'll meet beyond the stars above. - posted on 09/30/2006
浮生 wrote:
好，接着玩儿。又说酒又要中秋的，猜猜下面这个吧。我还真不知译者是谁，觉着译的不错。
Among the flowers from a pot of wine
I drink alone beneath the bright moonshine.
I raise my cup to invite the moon, who blends
Her light with my shadow and we're three friends.
The moon does not know how to drink her share;
In vain my shadow follows me here and there.
Together with them for the time I stay
And make merry before spring's spend away.
I sing the moon to linger with my song;
My shadow disperses as I dance along.
Sober, we three remain cheerful and gay;
Drunken, we part and each goes his way.
Our friendship will outshine all earthly love;
Next time we'll meet beyond the stars above.
花丛中，一壶酒，
明月底下我独饮。
举起杯子邀月亮，
月光影子做酒友。
在一起，我驻留，
开心度过好个春。
我唱月亮随歌舞。
我舞影子乱糟糟。
酒醒时分欢又乐，
酒醉之际各自归。
友谊长过人间爱，
下次再会星星外。
====
唉，我中文真是太差，不会押韵，译不出好诗。还是让WOA老师来吧。
浮生MM还不睡觉吗？下次睡不着，我来推荐电影。我看过 1503 个电影。
最近我睡不着觉的时候，就闭着眼睛听TTC讲座，两分钟不到就昏昏欲睡了。我昨夜听贝多芬，整晚都梦到他。 - Re: 姹夎瘲鑻辫瘧posted on 10/01/2006
阿姗 wrote:......
浮生 wrote:
好，接着玩儿。又说酒又要中秋的，猜猜下面这个吧。我还真不知译者是谁，觉着译的不错。
唉，我中文真是太差，不会押韵，译不出好诗。还是让WOA老师来吧。
这两首还真不错。阿姗的逆翻译也很漂亮。 :-) - posted on 10/01/2006
马致远
[越调]天净沙
秋思
枯藤老树昏鸦，
小桥流水人家，
古道西风瘦马。
夕阳西下，
断肠人在天涯。
Ma Zhi-Yuan
Sky-Clear Sands
Autumn Thoughts
Did you see that old tree, vine-choked, laden with crows?
And by the tiny bridge over a stream, stood a lonely house?
And a horse on the deserted road, emaciated, in westerly wind?
Did you see, under the western sky immersed in sunset,
A broken man, tossed to the far corner of the earth, carries on his journey?
- posted on 10/01/2006
这个很不错。
浮生 wrote:
阿姗 wrote:原著：李白
Did Zhuang Zhou dream he was the butterfly,
Or the butterfly that it was Zhuang Zhou?
In one body's metamorphoses,
All is present, infinite virtue!
You surely know Fairyland's oceans
Were made again a limpid brooklet,
Down at Green Gate the melon gardener
Once used to be Marquis of Dong-ling?
Wealth and honor were always like this:
You strive and strive, but what do you seek?
译者：Arthur Cooper
庄周梦蝴蝶，
蝴蝶梦庄周。
一体更变易，
万事良悠悠。
乃之蓬莱水，
复作清浅流！
青门 种瓜人，
旧日东陵侯。
富贵作如此，
营营何所求？ - Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/01/2006
del - posted on 10/01/2006
八十一子 wrote:
感觉很好玩。时逢中秋，开条线抛砖引玉。
绝句
床前明月光
李白
床前明月光，
疑是地上霜。
举头望明月，
低头思故乡。
果真好玩,也来凑个热闹,先拣短的来.(偶非诗人,非作家,请尽管批评,改个面目全非也不要紧).
不仅是要将中文的意境表现出来.就象是李白意传--telepathically--用英文的诗人,然后这个诗人再写成英文诗.真的好难.
Moonlight
My bedside shone by moon,
Like frost in winter dawn.
Eyeing up the shining moon,
Lone heart flies the far hometown. - posted on 10/01/2006
谢谢lucy。开始时我也用短句和词组，后来发现有些意犹未尽。这一类小曲不光要能够朗读，还要能够吟唱。
顺便说，breaking heart 应为 broken heart.
lucy wrote:
书架上刚好有一本书： 诗词英译选 文殊选注 外语教学与研究出版社
Tune to "Sand and Sky"
- Autumn Thoughts
Dry vine, old tree, crows at dusk,
Low bridge, stream running, cottages,
Ancient road, west wind, lean nag,
The sun westering
And one with breaking heart at the sky's edge.
- posted on 10/01/2006
rzp wrote:
八十一子 wrote:果真好玩,也来凑个热闹,先拣短的来.(偶非诗人,非作家,请尽管批评,改个面目全非也不要紧).
感觉很好玩。时逢中秋，开条线抛砖引玉。
绝句
床前明月光
李白
床前明月光，
疑是地上霜。
举头望明月，
低头思故乡。
不仅是要将中文的意境表现出来.就象是李白意传--telepathically--用英文的诗人,然后这个诗人再写成英文诗.真的好难.
Moonlight
My bedside shone by moon,
Like frost in winter dawn.
Eyeing up the shining moon,
Lone heart flies the far hometown.
This one is nice indeed. - Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/01/2006
谢谢 81zi, 也喜欢读你的。
书上错了。:-((
谁想翻译这首吗？好有诗意。
宿建德江
（唐）孟浩然
移舟泊烟渚，
日暮客愁新。
野旷天低树，
江清月近人。
八十一子 wrote:
谢谢lucy。开始时我也用短句和词组，后来发现有些意犹未尽。这一类小曲不光要能够朗读，还要能够吟唱。
顺便说，breaking heart 应为 broken heart.
- Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/01/2006
lucy wrote:
谢谢 81zi, 也喜欢读你的。
书上错了。:-((
我知道。:-)
"A heart-breaking lady" is very different from "a heart-broken lady". Most ladies in Mayacafe are probably the former. :-)
Why don't you try the 宿建德江 yourself? Could be fun. - Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/01/2006
What is the difference between 'A heart-breakinglady' and 'A heart-broken lady'?
I want to know :))
八十一子 wrote:
"A heart-breaking lady" is very different from "a heart-broken lady". Most ladies in Mayacafe are probably the former. :-)
- Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/01/2006
July wrote:
What is the different 'A heart-breakinglady' with 'A heart-broken lady'?
I want to know :))
八十一子 wrote:
"A heart-breaking lady" is very different from "a heart-broken lady". Most ladies in Mayacafe are probably the former. :-)
The former breaks man's heart. The latter gets her own heart broken. :-) - posted on 10/01/2006
lucy wrote:
宿建德江
（唐）孟浩然
移舟泊烟渚，
日暮客愁新。
野旷天低树，
江清月近人。
试试这个：
http://image2.sina.com.cn/kid/2004-09-07/U307P205T1D2698F102DT20040907100659.swf
A little boat docks by the islet in the fog,
After the sunset, the traveler renews his homesickness.
Beyond the open field, the sky drops lower than the trees,
The moon, reflecting on the river, comes closer to me. - Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/01/2006
八十一子 wrote:
马致远
[越调]天净沙
秋思
枯藤老树昏鸦，
小桥流水人家，
古道西风瘦马。
夕阳西下，
断肠人在天涯。
中学年代，少年老成，特别喜欢这首诗，练毛笔字练很久。这里重逢，倍感亲切！把照片找出来，让大家笑一笑吧。:) - Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/01/2006
太美了.....
这是一个旅人才能体味的!
谢谢阿姗
- Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/01/2006
是你吗？
照片上: name
阿姗 wrote:
中学年代，少年老成，特别喜欢这首诗，练毛笔字练很久。这里重逢，倍感亲切！把照片找出来，让大家笑一笑吧。:) - posted on 10/01/2006
Very cool! And inspiring. Now there is more fun.
阿姗 wrote:
lucy wrote:试试这个：
宿建德江
（唐）孟浩然
移舟泊烟渚，
日暮客愁新。
野旷天低树，
江清月近人。
http://image2.sina.com.cn/kid/2004-09-07/U307P205T1D2698F102DT20040907100659.swf A little boat docks by the island in the fog,
After the sunset, the traveler renews his homesickness.
Beyond the open field, the sky drops lower than the trees,
The moon, reflecting on the clear river, comes closer to me. - Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/01/2006
lucy wrote:
是你吗？
照片上: name
阿姗 wrote:
中学年代，少年老成，特别喜欢这首诗，练毛笔字练很久。这里重逢，倍感亲切！把照片找出来，让大家笑一笑吧。:)
算错了。那时候还是小学。:) 糟糕，又暴露了。上次还有人猜过呢。
今天找到一张 misplaced 很久的CD。好高兴！有些得意忘形了。 - Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/01/2006
十二岁的字已经这样老辣了？厉害厉害。颜真卿？ - posted on 10/01/2006
我不懂诗，但这首我曾经上瘾过，喜欢它的工整，所以也希望翻译工整一些。八十一子老师的没有体现这样的格式。Lucy MM 找的，stream running 换成 running stream 就更工整了。
枯藤老树昏鸦，
小桥流水人家，
古道西风瘦马。
夕阳西下，
断肠人在天涯。
lucy wrote:
Dry vine, old tree, crows at dusk,
Low bridge, stream running, cottages,
Ancient road, west wind, lean nag,
The sun westering
And one with breaking heart at the sky's edge.
八十一子 wrote:
Did you see that old tree, vine-choked, laden with crows?
And the tiny bridge over a stream, stood a lonely house?
And a horse on the deserted road, emaciated, in westerly wind?
Did you see, under the western sky immersed in sunset,
A broken man, tossed to the far corner of the earth, carries on his journey?
八十一子 wrote:
十二岁的字已经这样老辣了？厉害厉害。颜真卿？
这篇字太难看了，瘦巴巴的，一点不够力道。少年宫的书法老师先写出来，我照猫画虎，描的痕迹太重。不记得什么体了。嘻嘻，白学了好几年。:) - Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/01/2006
阿姗 wrote:
马致远中学年代，少年老成，特别喜欢这首诗，练毛笔字练很久。这里重逢，倍感亲切！把照片找出来，让大家笑一笑吧。:)
[越调]天净沙
秋思
枯藤老树昏鸦，
小桥流水人家，
古道西风瘦马。
夕阳西下，
断肠人在天涯。
:-)
柳公权?
你一定不是唯一一个少年时也偏爱过这古道瘦马的.或许漂泊的人是该世注定了要漂泊的,所以谙事前便已感觉对那戚戚然很諗熟. - posted on 10/01/2006
阿姗 wrote:
我不懂诗，但这首我曾经上瘾过，喜欢它的工整，所以也希望翻译工整一些。八十一子老师的没有体现这样的格式。Lucy MM 找的，stream running 换成 running stream 就更工整了。
There goes my poem interpreter's career!
我也不懂诗。:-) 但是阿姗说得是。改了改了：
马致远
[越调]天净沙
秋思
枯藤老树昏鸦，
小桥流水人家，
古道西风瘦马。
夕阳西下，
断肠人在天涯。
Ma Zhi-Yuan
Sky-Clear Sands
Autumn Thoughts
To an old tree, vine-choked, home a few crows.
By a tiny bridge, over a stream, stands soneone's house.
On a deserted road, in westerly wind, stumbles a starved horse.
Under the western sky in sunset,
There is a broken man, cast to the land's end. - Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/02/2006
李自成教授，译得颇有诗意，只是为何瘦马成了饿马？（starved horse),饿和变瘦还有段时间吧：） - posted on 10/02/2006
rzp wrote:
阿姗 wrote:你一定不是唯一一个少年时也偏爱过这古道瘦马的.或许漂泊的人是该世注定了要漂泊的,所以谙事前便已感觉对那戚戚然很諗熟.
枯藤老树昏鸦，中学年代，少年老成，特别喜欢这首诗，练毛笔字练很久。这里重逢，倍感亲切！
小桥流水人家，
古道西风瘦马。
夕阳西下，
断肠人在天涯。
可是，现在不喜欢这类的诗了，干巴巴凄凉凉的。一见到愁字我就犯愁。可能真是变老了，开始喜欢青春，喜欢“阳光”，喜欢笑容。玛雅一早就跟我说过，老头子有什么好。是真的。
不过，还是小的时候把老年先过了的好，年长的时候，剩下的都是青春。:) - Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/02/2006
阿珊端的是变老了吗？原来“少年不识愁滋味”， 如今“天凉好个秋”：？ - posted on 10/02/2006
who wants to try these?
http://www.hwq836.com/12.mp3
望江南
(一)
闲梦远，南国正芳春。
船上管弦江面渌，满城飞絮滚轻尘，
忙杀看花人！
(二)
闲梦远，南国正清秋。
千里江山寒色远，芦花深处泊孤舟。
笛在月明楼。
(三)
多少恨，昨夜梦魂中。
还似旧时游上苑，车如流水马如龙；
花月正春风！
(四)
多少泪，断脸复横颐。
心事莫将和泪说，凤笙休向泪时吹；
肠断更无疑！
- Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/02/2006
feiming wrote:
李自成教授，译得颇有诗意，只是为何瘦马成了饿马？（starved horse),饿和变瘦还有段时间吧：）
Should be "skiny horse", like this one?
- Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/02/2006
feming 老师，俺只是年纪老了，不是真老了。我算了，我要是莫扎特，就没几天日子了。
lspk wrote:
feiming wrote:Should be "skiny horse", like this one?
李自成教授，译得颇有诗意，只是为何瘦马成了饿马？（starved horse),饿和变瘦还有段时间吧：）
那个不是唐吉柯德吗？咦，还是毕加索的唐吉柯德呢。:) - Re: 姹夎瘲鑻辫瘧posted on 10/02/2006
赵丽华一定这样翻译：
I mistook
the frost on the floor
in front of
my bed
as the light
of the moon.
I looked up
at the moon
and then,
looking down
on the ground,
I let my thoughts
go to my
home. - Re: 闄堥•鏈堝嚭posted on 10/02/2006
都太伤感了。我弄个高兴点儿的来。这个是古代的，难一些。
陈风•月出
月出皎兮，佼人僚兮，舒窈纠兮，劳心悄兮。
月出皓兮，佼人懰兮，舒忧受兮，劳心慅兮。
月出照兮，佼人燎兮，舒夭绍兮，劳心惨兮。 - Re: 闄堥•鏈堝嚭posted on 10/02/2006
月色撩人，劳心惨兮。怎么高兴？
“懰”字该怎么翻译？^_^
阿姗 wrote:
都太伤感了。我弄个高兴点儿的来。这个是古代的，难一些。
陈风•月出
月出皎兮，佼人僚兮，舒窈纠兮，劳心悄兮。
月出皓兮，佼人懰兮，舒忧受兮，劳心慅兮。
月出照兮，佼人燎兮，舒夭绍兮，劳心惨兮。 - Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/02/2006
昨天沉浸在阿姗的译诗 宿建德江(唐)孟浩然中，把这么精彩的对白给忽略了:-))
中译英太费神，试试英译汉吧 :-))
If I can stop one Heart from breaking
by Emily Dickinson
If I can stop one Heart from breaking
I shall not live in vain
If I can ease one Life the Aching
Or cool one Pain
Or help one fainting Robin
Unto his Nest again
I shall not live in Vain.
- posted on 10/02/2006
lspk wrote:
月色撩人，劳心惨兮。怎么高兴？
“懰”字该怎么翻译？^_^
阿姗 wrote:
都太伤感了。我弄个高兴点儿的来。这个是古代的，难一些。
陈风•月出
月出皎兮，佼人僚兮，舒窈纠兮，劳心悄兮。
月出皓兮，佼人懰兮，舒忧受兮，劳心慅兮。
月出照兮，佼人燎兮，舒夭绍兮，劳心惨兮。
好，先译成中文。懰，音刘，妩媚。余冠英译云：
月儿出来亮晶晶啊，照着美人多么俊啊，
安闲的步儿苗条的影啊，我的心儿不安宁啊。
月儿出来白皓皓啊，照着美人多么俏啊。
安闲的步儿灵活的腰啊，我的心儿突突地跳啊。
月儿高挂像灯盏啊，美人儿身上银光满啊。
腰身柔软脚步儿闲啊，我的心上浪涛翻啊。
我觉得这个还算是高兴吧，至少不象前面的那么绝望。嘻嘻，都说了我中文不好，平时也不读诗。别理我，我瞎玩呢。:)
- posted on 10/02/2006
lucy wrote:这首内容很“阳光”，大白话试试:
昨天沉浸在阿姗的译诗 宿建德江(唐)孟浩然中，把这么精彩的对白给忽略了:-))
中译英太费神，试试英译汉吧 :-))
If I can stop one Heart from breaking
by Emily Dickinson
If I can stop one Heart from breaking
I shall not live in vain
If I can ease one Life the Aching
Or cool one Pain
Or help one fainting Robin
Unto his Nest again
I shall not live in Vain.
如果我能够停住一颗心的破裂，
我生将不虚度。
如果我能减轻一个生命的伤悲，
抚慰一个痛苦；
或者只是帮助幼弱的知更鸟儿，
重回到他树上的巢，
我生将不虚度。
- Re: 闄堥•鏈堝嚭posted on 10/02/2006
阿姗 wrote:
都太伤感了。我弄个高兴点儿的来。这个是古代的，难一些。
陈风•月出
月出皎兮，佼人僚兮，舒窈纠兮，劳心悄兮。
月出皓兮，佼人懰兮，舒忧受兮，劳心慅兮。
月出照兮，佼人燎兮，舒夭绍兮，劳心惨兮。
这样的古诗实在太浓缩，做做解释(interpretation)大概还行，但是无法对应翻译(translation)。 - Re: 璇曡瘧鑹剧背鑾�posted on 10/02/2006
如果我能
愈合一颗破碎着的心
抚慰和减轻
另一个生命的伤痛
正如同
我将一个晕眩的小鸟
放回她的小巢
那我今生
将不虚此行
- posted on 10/03/2006
个人觉得第一版更有那个那个意思。除了emaciated 太学究太书面，改用bony or flanky呢？
另外house太物质化，不如home, 例如A Prairie Home.
人说诗人是天生的，果不其然，九九教授赶快改行吧。:- )).
八十一子 wrote:
马致远
[越调]天净沙
秋思
枯藤老树昏鸦，
小桥流水人家，
古道西风瘦马。
夕阳西下，
断肠人在天涯。
Ma Zhi-Yuan
Sky-Clear Sands
Autumn Thoughts
Did you see that old tree, vine-choked, laden with crows?
And by the tiny bridge over a stream, stood a lonely house?
And a horse on the deserted road, emaciated, in westerly wind?
Did you see, under the western sky immersed in sunset,
A broken man, tossed to the far corner of the earth, carries on his journey?
- posted on 10/03/2006
看来Woa跟我一样, 比较注意诗意. bony 比较好, 跟瘦一样, 是个普通字. 此外, 加进一个"你"字是否妥当.
Lucy说得对, 汉译英太费劲. 而且我觉得母语不是英语的人最好别用它写诗, 诗歌对语言的要求太高. 还是英译汉吧. 不是泼冷水. :-)
WOA wrote:
个人觉得第一版更有那个那个意思。除了emaciated 太学究太书面，改用bony or flanky呢？
另外house太物质化，不如home, 例如A Prairie Home.
人说诗人是天生的，果不其然，九九教授赶快改行吧。:- )).
八十一子 wrote:
马致远
[越调]天净沙
秋思
枯藤老树昏鸦，
小桥流水人家，
古道西风瘦马。
夕阳西下，
断肠人在天涯。
Ma Zhi-Yuan
Sky-Clear Sands
Autumn Thoughts
Did you see that old tree, vine-choked, laden with crows?
And by the tiny bridge over a stream, stood a lonely house?
And a horse on the deserted road, emaciated, in westerly wind?
Did you see, under the western sky immersed in sunset,
A broken man, tossed to the far corner of the earth, carries on his journey?
- posted on 10/03/2006
谢谢WOA和Ruozhi. 这不是在响应七月的号召么？:-)
WOA: I think I will keep my daytime job for a while. :-)
Ruozhi wrote:
看来Woa跟我一样, 比较注意诗意. bony 比较好, 跟瘦一样, 是个普通字. 此外, 加进一个"你"字是否妥当.
Lucy说得对, 汉译英太费劲. 而且我觉得母语不是英语的人最好别用它写诗, 诗歌对语言的要求太高. 还是英译汉吧. 不是泼冷水. :-)
WOA wrote:
个人觉得第一版更有那个那个意思。除了emaciated 太学究太书面，改用bony or flanky呢？
另外house太物质化，不如home, 例如A Prairie Home.
人说诗人是天生的，果不其然，九九教授赶快改行吧。:- )). - Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/06/2006
登幽州古台
陈子昂
前不见古人，
后不见来者。
念天地之悠悠，
独怆然而涕下。
On The Ancient Plateau of Youzhou
Chen Zi-Ang
Peering ahead I see no one.
Searching back I see no one.
How vastly endless are the sky and earth,
Alone in between, I have nothing but tears.
- posted on 10/06/2006
On An Ancient Plateau
Those who went before me, I see not a trace of you.
Those who are to follow me, when will you arrive?
I see only the endless sky and the timeless earth.
In tears I stand in between, alone.
站在古原上
[美] 李自成
走在前面的人，我看不见你的尾巴
跟在后头的人，你们几时才到达
我只看到无比的天和无穷的地
就独自泡在泪水中央，哭啊
==========================================================
再搞笑一把，我的聂鲁达译诗也告一段落...有点吃不消他的豪情了。
八十一子 wrote:
登幽州古台
陈子昂
前不见古人，
后不见来者。
念天地之悠悠，
独怆然而涕下。
On An Ancient Plateau
Chen Zi-Ang
Those who went before me, I see not a trace of you.
Those who are to follow me, when will you arrive?
I see only the endless sky and the timeless earth.
In tears I stand in between, alone.
- Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/06/2006
WOA wrote:
On An Ancient Plateau
就独自泡在泪水中央，哭啊
==========================================================
再搞笑一把，我的聂鲁达译诗也告一段落...有点吃不消他的豪情了。
Ha! Ha! Quite good!
Do not stop yours, as I've just begun. :-) - posted on 10/06/2006
聂鲁达太豪情了，还是李自成好：））
WOA wrote:
On An Ancient Plateau
Those who went before me, I see not a trace of you.
Those who are to follow me, when will you arrive?
I see only the endless sky and the timeless earth.
In tears I stand in between, alone.
站在古原上
[美] 李自成
走在前面的人，我看不见你的尾巴
跟在后头的人，你们几时才到达
我只看到无比的天和无穷的地
就独自泡在泪水中央，哭啊
==========================================================
再搞笑一把，我的聂鲁达译诗也告一段落...有点吃不消他的豪情了。
- Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/06/2006
看来我给 八十一子起的绰号"李自成"得到首肯，cheers - posted on 10/06/2006
实在是好笑. :-) 吃不消聂鲁达, 译译里尔克的Dangce the Orange如何? 象罔,苯苯, 废名们....
WOA wrote:
On An Ancient Plateau
Those who went before me, I see not a trace of you.
Those who are to follow me, when will you arrive?
I see only the endless sky and the timeless earth.
In tears I stand in between, alone.
站在古原上
[美] 李自成
走在前面的人，我看不见你的尾巴
跟在后头的人，你们几时才到达
我只看到无比的天和无穷的地
就独自泡在泪水中央，哭啊
==========================================================
再搞笑一把，我的聂鲁达译诗也告一段落...有点吃不消他的豪情了。
八十一子 wrote:
登幽州古台
陈子昂
前不见古人，
后不见来者。
念天地之悠悠，
独怆然而涕下。
On An Ancient Plateau
Chen Zi-Ang
Those who went before me, I see not a trace of you.
Those who are to follow me, when will you arrive?
I see only the endless sky and the timeless earth.
In tears I stand in between, alone.
- Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/06/2006
若之，你可真能出难题，那里尔克如此晦涩难懂，累坏了也不容易译好也：） - Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/06/2006
不觉着聂豪情。倒是有点罗唆。我自己没试之前，感觉不出WOA译的多么好， 自己翻了之后才觉着WOA翻得好。原因我算在了聂的头上。 我的白话译他的白话就不灵。WOA语言精致，典雅有韵律， 较适合。
我是赞成白话入诗的， 但话白了，意象就要有纬度，有距离。一水儿的白， 不灵。
我的一点肯定不正确的感受，看大家都在， 聊天而已。千万别冒犯了聂的粉丝。
- Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/06/2006
上面“一水儿的白”不指聂， 是我想起了一些白话诗。聂的， 本来的一份豪情，抻长了，就温情了。玩笑。 - posted on 10/07/2006
陈风•月出
月出皎兮，佼人僚兮，舒窈纠兮，劳心悄兮。
月出皓兮，佼人懰兮，舒忧受兮，劳心慅兮。
月出照兮，佼人燎兮，舒夭绍兮，劳心惨兮。
Folk Songs from Chen
The Moon Rises
The moon rises, so clear,
The lady is so slender.
Her waist so supple,
My heart misses a beat.
The moon rises, so brilliant,
The lady is so worried.
Her sadness hurts me,
My heart is tender.
The moon rises, so vivacious,
The lady is like a bonfire.
Her body twists in dances,
My heart burns inside out.
- Re: 闄堥•鏈堝嚭posted on 10/07/2006
99老师很是认真。译的很诗意。尤其喜欢最后一节。我也来挑个语法错。:)
The moon rises so clearly/brilliantly/vivaciously?
- posted on 10/07/2006
阿姗 wrote:
99老师很是认真。译的很诗意。尤其喜欢最后一节。我也来挑个语法错。:)
The moon rises so clearly/brilliantly/vivaciously?
Thank you very much, A-shan, but I beg to differ. I think there are no grammer problems. There are words that are actually omitted, such as in this line:
The moon rises so clear = The moon rises (and is) so clear. A comma, or perhaps a period, is probably needed, though, like this:
The moon rises, so clear.
or
The moon rises. So clear.
- Re: 闄堥•鏈堝嚭posted on 10/07/2006
明白了。那就加上标点吧。 - posted on 10/07/2006
趁机多贴几首中秋的。有空慢慢译。祝大家中秋快乐！
《中秋》
（唐）李朴
皓魄当空宝镜升，云间仙籁寂无声；
平分秋色一轮满，长伴云衢千里明；
狡兔空从弦外落，妖蟆休向眼前生；
灵槎拟约同携手，更待银河彻底清。
《八月十五夜玩月》
（唐）刘禹锡
天将今夜月，一遍洗寰瀛。
暑退九霄净，秋澄万景清。
星辰让光彩，风露发晶英。
能变人间世，攸然是玉京。
《水调歌头》
（宋）苏东坡
丙辰中秋，欢饮达旦。大醉，作此篇，兼怀子由。
明月几时有？把酒问青天。
不知天上宫阙，今夕是何年？
我欲乘风归去，又恐琼楼玉宇，
高处不胜寒！起舞弄清影，何似在人间？
转朱阁，低绮户，照无眠。
不应有恨，何事长向别时圆？
人有悲欢离合，月有阴晴圆缺，此事古难全。
但愿人长久，千里共婵娟。
中秋月
（宋）苏轼
暮云收尽溢清寒，银汉无声转玉盘，
此生此夜不长好，明月明年何处看。
《太常引》
（宋）辛弃疾
一轮秋影转金波，飞镜又重磨。
把酒问姮娥：被白发欺人奈何！
乘风好去，长空万里，
直下看山河。斫去桂婆娑。人道是清光更多。
- posted on 10/07/2006
81君(来而不往非礼也.:-))译得渐入佳境. 有一个建议: 用narrow来形容腰不具美感, 改为supple如何?
八十一子 wrote:
陈风•月出
月出皎兮，佼人僚兮，舒窈纠兮，劳心悄兮。
月出皓兮，佼人懰兮，舒忧受兮，劳心慅兮。
月出照兮，佼人燎兮，舒夭绍兮，劳心惨兮。
Folk Songs from Chen
The Moon Rises
The moon rises, so clear,
The lady is so slender.
Her waist so narrow,
My heart misses a beat.
The moon rises, so brilliant,
The lady is so worried.
Her sadness hurts me,
My heart is tender.
The moon rises, so vivacious,
The lady is like a bonfire.
Her body twists in dance,
My heart burns inside out.
- Re: 闄堥•鏈堝嚭posted on 10/07/2006
Ruozhi wrote:
81君(来而不往非礼也.:-))译得渐入佳境. 有一个建议: 用narrow来形容腰不具美感, 改为supple如何?
真是谈不上诗歌翻译。休息时闹着玩罢。若之君建议很好。Imagine "Supple ..."! Makes my heart skip a beat! 谢了。:-) - Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/18/2006
这个是芝加哥辉煌一里路上的银牛---献给Lucy
lucy wrote:
古道西风瘦马 - 这匹马太瘦 :-((
- Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/18/2006
纽约华尔街的铜牛
从这个角度看不到最被人们钟爱、被抚摸得金光灿烂的部位。:-)
估计图中这位游客正在面对着该部位沉思。
- Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/19/2006
这是我与一头蒙大拿水牛的亲密接触，相距不过0.5米。
- Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/19/2006
WOA wrote:
这是我与一头蒙大拿水牛的亲密接触，相距不过0.5米。
He is not looking very friendly, isn't he? :-) - Re: 椹嚧杩� [瓒婅皟]澶╁噣娌�posted on 10/19/2006
I was scared to death as he's dashing toward me....but thank God I didn't wear red then, so I guess that's his typical look of the day.
八十一子 wrote:
He is not looking very friendly, isn't he? :-) - posted on 11/02/2006
Written in French, translated to German by Otto Erich Hartleben, Belgian poet Albert Giraud's poems "Pierrot Lunaire" was set to music by Arnold Schoenberg, and became one of the most influential music ever written in the history of western music (refer to BBB's post in http://www.mayacafe.com/forum/topic1.php3?tkey=1118479488, this piece is #26.)
Today I was listening to the first song, and found the poem very suitable, although a bit late, for our little moon/drinking translation game here. :)
http://trumpet.sdsu.edu/m345/mp3/%20moondrunk.mp3
The format is 13 lines, lines 7 and 8 are the same as lines 1 and 2, and the last line is the same as the first line. Here is a translation of the poem in English. Do we need a Chinese translation?
Moondrunk
The wine we drink through the eyes
The moon pours down at night in waves,
And a flood tide overflows
The silent horizon.
Longings beyond number, gruesome sweet frissons,
Swim through the flood.
The wine we drink through the eyes
The moon pours down at night in waves.
The poet, slave to devotion,
Drunk on the sacred liquor,
Enraptured, turns his face to Heaven
And staggering sucks and slurps
The wine we drink through the eyes.
==
Mondestrunken
Den Wein, den man mit Augen trinkt,
Gießt nachts der Mond in Wogen nieder,
Und eine Springflut überschwemmt
Den stillen Horizont.
Gelüste, schauerlich und süß,
Durchschwimmen ohne Zahl die Fluten!
Den Wein, den man mit Augen trinkt,
Gießt nachts der Mond in Wogen nieder.
Der Dichter, den die Andacht treibt,
Berauscht sich an dem heilgen Tranke,
Gen Himmel wendet er verzückt
Das Haupt und taumelnd saugt und schlürft er
Den Wein, den man mit Augen trinkt.
http://trumpet.sdsu.edu/m345/mp3/%20moondrunk.mp3
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